May 2012
28 posts
Memorial Day
Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Just Keep Trying
Dear Granddad,
It really hurts me to see you suffer. Though you try to fight it, I still pray you will get cured. Maybe it’s not very likely to get completely cured, but we still pray and hope. Sometimes I get teary when I think about you and Nana in Texas when I barely get to see you. You inspire me to just keep trying. Even when I write this, I begin to cry, but I try to stay brave just...
Ivy League
Dear Dad, You are still alive, but the way you have treated me is almost as if you are dead. I call and there is no answer. I leave messages which are never returned, and your attitude toward me, which was once negative, is now non-existent. You do not know who I am, what my plans for the future are, or about my current relationship. I feel for you because you are missing out on something...
As All Must Pass
Dear F.B. What happened to us? It is amazing to think that all that was our friendship simply disappeared without warning; and without so much as an attempt at a fight to hold on to it. It is fairly clear to see that we are simply too much alike, you and I. Each too afraid to show or say a true emotion because of how much pain they have caused us in the past. It is funny to think that we both...
Remember
Dear Nick,
I haven’t cleaned out my inbox for a while, Today I decided it was time. It’s a terrible thing looking back on the past, at how things used to be. I miss you. It pains me to say it, but I do. I know it’s been nearly five months now, and each day I think about you less and less, but today…Why did I have to clean out my inbox? Today, I found an email you had...
Awesome
Dear Elisa,
I never got to tell you this but you were the best preschool teacher ever. You were always fun to be around, and if something was boring, you always made it fun. Whenever you read a story, you read it with enthusiasm and you changed your voice whenever a character in the story was talking. If I got hurt, you always came over to me and said funny stuff that would make me laugh and...
My Brother
Big Brother,
Words can’t describe the feelings I have at the loss of you. You were my big brother and my hero. Not only my hero, but a hero to the United States as a Sergeant in the US Army. The last time I saw you was Easter day with your new girlfriend from New York. I didn’t realize or see all the pain you had built up. I couldn’t understand how someone like you could be so...
I Will Always Love You
Dear Emily,
I’m sorry things had to end the way that they did. I’m sorry that I couldn’t control my temper, and I made you feel like such a piece of shit these last couple of months. Thing is, my unconditional anger was just my pathetic way of masking my true feelings. Truth is, I’m still madly in love with you, and have been this whole time. I know, you cheated on me and it completely ruined us,...
I'll Never Forget
Daddy,
It still doesn’t seem real. I can’t believe I’ll never hear your voice again. That I’ll never get to hug you, never get to see you again. This whole thing was such a shock, I still can’t get my head around it. I feel such regret, such guilt for all of the things that were never said, never fixed. For all the times I thought to call but never did, and for always thinking...
My Attachment
Dear D,
I’m sorry that I broke up with you and then dated your friend soon after. I think that you wanted to break up with me, too, but I couldn’t tell what was happening. I forget people oddly quick when I don’t see them for a while and it was hard to keep my attachment to you. I don’t know what would have happened but I only know that I was closer to you than I have...
To Set Me Straight
Sister,
Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if you were here. Here to guide me, here to help. I wish you were here to comfort me when I am sad, here to be there for me on my prom night making sure I don’t do anything too stupid. No one is here to do that for me, no one seems to mind that I’m ruining everything. I feel like if you were here, though, if you had your chance on earth,...
My Biological Father
Dear Dad,
Today marks the one year anniversary of your death, and although it has been 23+ years since I last had contact with you, it’s still hard to grasp that you’re no longer here. I’ve spent most of my life referring to you as my “biological father” because for me, that’s all you ever were. For some reason, the day I found out you died, I started referring...
Helped Me Get Right
To my Soulmate,
There was a time that I believed you were my soulmate. The man that would stand by my side through life. The man that would fix me. There was so much wrong with me. The insecurities, no self-esteem, no self-worth, jealous, a liar. All of these nasty traits and characteristics where the cause of all of our problems. Because I was searching for the answers in you. You were my strong...
Up There Watching
Grandma,
I know you are up there watching me grow up. Every year for my birthday, which is the first day of spring—March 21st—I always ask to have a beautiful day. And almost every year, I get exactly what I ask for. It’s been 13 years since I’ve last sat with you in our family room. We were watching Unsolved Mysteries. I miss you so much.
I’ve grown up ever since you’ve died. I took care of...
My Heaven
Dre,
At 22, you met me. I had just gotten out of a Domestic Violence shelter. I was broken and alone with a baby. My life was full of so much pain. A helping hand is hard to find in this day and age; I guess I was lucky. Maybe it was fate, I don’t know, but it was something. You never asked me for anything, you just offered. You were a true friend. You helped me heal. You listened to what I had...
This Mother's Day
Dear Mom,
Last Mother’s Day, I did not pay enough attention to you. But this Mother’s Day, you’ll get breakfast in bed, and cookies and chocolate milk, and ice cream, and lemonade and tea, and of course you’ll get me!
Sara, age 8
Everything I Wanted to Say
To you, I wanted to say so much to you during our last conversation. I booked the ticket because I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted to see you and tell you how much I’ve missed you. I still love you. I wanted to tell you that people come and go, but no one is you. I always think about you. You are apart of my thought process. You always have been. I am sorry about the way our...
Letter To Nanny
To My Nanny,
I have a friend who lost her Granny last week. I don’t think about you enough, especially now that I’m not at home, but her sadness brought you back to me. I want to tell you a story about a day not long before you died. I had been ill, with sickness or something, and little G came home with an ice-cream, showing off in the way brothers do when they have something you...
Family Fighting
Gramma,
I miss you so much. I don’t think my life could be more chaotic right now. Momma left her good boyfriend to go back to the one that made her treat me bad. Going two weeks without seeing your mother isn’t fun. And I know you would do something about it. And all this damn family fighting. You’re probably glaring at us all from heaven. I wish I had the power you did over...
What Is Love?
Dear World,
I love you. I do not know the last time I said that to someone. I have been hurt so many times that I have tried to eradicate love from my life. I thought that if I pretended love did not exist, that I would never get hurt again. You tell me that I am a freak for not knowing love, that I am just looking for attention. You always look so happy, but I tell myself that you are living a...
I Have Love To Give
Haylie,
You’ve been the most influential person in my entire life and I’ve only known you a little over a year now.
We started on a rocky road, then began our beautiful relationship. In your words, it was a loving relationship. We were swimming in love; it was everywhere we went. Then seven months later, it all crashed and burned because of my sudden bout of jealousy. It’s been...
26 Years
Dear Dad,
I know that I don’t get to see you. I miss the times that we had together, like playing baseball and you picking me up from school, then eating ice cream on the couch watching TV. On our birthdays, you always took us somewhere. I miss those days that you spent time with us. I wish I could see you in jail, but can’t until about 26 years when you get out. I miss you very...
Giving Me A Chance
Dear First Boss,
At a time when no one would employ me because I was shy and inexperienced, thank you for employing me. Even though you didn’t need me in your company and it cost you money, in the form of wages and training. There’s few people who would have helped me by giving me a chance.
Your employee, age 21
Ray of Sunshine
Dear Grandpa Ray, As we walked the edge of the garden this morning, my Mom reminded me just how special I was to you. She told me the story of how you were given only one month to live, having cancer, and the night my Mom told you she was pregnant, you decided the cancer was not going to win. Nine months later, the day I was born, was a bright sun-filled morning, and my Mom said the moment...
How Do I Say
Dear boy who stole my heart,
How am I supposed to tell my girlfriend I have fallen for another person? How am I supposed to say that my heart is no longer hers? How am I supposed to tear her into pieces? How I am supposed to let her know that I will no longer be in her arms at night? Tell me please, I don’t know what to do. But I do know that you and I, we are supposed to be here, with each...
Growing Up
Dear Mom & Dad,
It’s time to start letting go. I am eighteen and I have the opportunity to start experiencing life. I understand that you are worried about all of the typical parent fears like drug use, sleeping around, changing religious views, and changing morals; however, I have been a good kid for eighteen years and I have never acted out drastically like some teens. I have always...
American Beauty
Dear John,
Sometimes I wonder what you though of me, besides the obvious. Did you ever think about whether I’d ever get out of the oldest profession? Would you care if I told you I enjoy graphic novels and hate Chex Mix? Did you laugh at me? And then I catch myself, because it doesn’t matter. I also wonder if you would care if you knew how selling my body to you hurt me physically,...
About That
To those in my life:
I lie. About everything to everyone. There is not one person I have encountered in my life that I have not lied to.
But the best part is that you guys believe all of it. Every. Single. Lie.
It feels nice to know I’m trusted. But I wonder what will happen when you guys find out.
Sorry I’m not who you think I am. I don’t really know who I am either But so far,...
April 2012
30 posts
Favorite Teacher
Dear Ms. Forde,
Thank you for everything that you have done to make my life the way it is now. There were many times when I felt like giving up but you help me keep going. You were there through the good and the bad. Because of the fact that I never really got to say to you thank you I want to say it now….THANK YOU!! You believed in me when nobody else did. Thinking about how today I am a better...
I Still Love You
Dear MB,
It’s been over six months since you broke my heart in more pieces than I could possibly count. It’s been six months since I lost hope in ever loving again. It’s been six months of thinking about you in the moments in which I wake to start a new day and ache to find sleep in the solemn night. It’s been six months of refusing to date, to open my heart, of trying to convince you that I...
Back To The Day
Grandpa,
I go days without thinking about you, but some days, like today, your memory is embedded in my mind.
I go back to the days before you left us and it’s just not the same. I wish I would have known that was the last time we would go fishing, the last time to drive your truck or the last time I would tell you I loved you.
I was young and said some hateful things, and I blame myself...
My Religion Is Important To Me
Dear Laura,
We have been best friends since first grade, and the word “friend” doesn’t come close to covering what you mean to me. You are my other half and we have a connection that is so powerful that it scares me sometimes. However, there is something that you do that is just not okay with me. When you insult my religious practices, it bothers me a lot. I know that my religion...
To My Mom, Josephine
Mother,
I wanted to tell you how much you influenced my life by being the caring and kind, thoughtful person you are. Somewhere in the back of my mind, an image of what you would have done in my situation or what you did do in my situation flavors what I do now. And as my grandchildren and great-grandchildren grow, you are there in their lives as well, though they don’t know you. The...
Your Past
Lovely Patrick,
We’re both idiots. And I love you.
My life just loses colors and flavors. Without your kisses, I don’t want to get out of bed.
Everybody tells me I should let you go. And I’ve been trying it so hard. But I realise it’s a mistake.
Now I know you feel it’s my fault, and life goes on. Everything is much easier without me. And I am in dispair without you here. I...
RIP Mom
Dear Mom,
I think it’s time I say some things I have wanted to say for the past five years. I was a senior in high school, trying to get through school and move on with my life, when you turned everything upside down. You suddenly decided that you no longer loved my father, and left him for an even older man you had been sneaking around with. You lied to me when I asked you.
That was the...
So Sure
Hey Daniel,
Why are you still on my mind? After a whirlwind of meeting you and instantly feeling like we’d known each other for so long, and then walking away to catch my plane and watching you turn around and walk back into your life. Without me by your side. I’m pretty sure I’ve come to the conclusion that you are still on my mind because I loved you. Those three days felt like...
Please Be Our Dad
Dear Dad,
Why did you not want to be my Dad? Why didn’t you let my sister and I into your life. You have the most amazing daughters and grandchildren now. You really are missing out.
I used to think that it was my fault. Having twins at such a young age, you probably just wanted to go out and have fun. Mum has never said a bad word about you. Yes, I was a child when all of this happened, but...
To Play And Cuddle
Dear Shana,
I have heard so much about you, like you loved to rip up stuffed animals. You would have loved my dogs, Maxwell and Rosie. Rosie is full of energy and Maxwell sleeps all day. I wonder what you were like. You were the same breed of my dog Maxwell, llasa apso. I know you were a dog but I wish I could have met you, played with you and cuddled with you. I still love you and I will love...
Talk. Miss. Love.
Dear Erin,
I want to talk to you so very much. I want to tell you about my husband-to-be. I want to tell you about my new career. I want to talk to you about our new niece or nephew. I want to talk to you about our childhood memories. I hope that when I write you this letter you can read it wherever you are, even if you cannot talk back.
I miss you so very much. I missed you when I graduated high...
Grandpa's Room
Dear Grandma,
I was only in 3rd grade when you passed away, but I feel I was so close to you, even though I rarely got to visit you. I wish I could have told you I loved you more on the phone, or over letters. You always loved everyone no matter what. You knew what love really was. I wish you were still here. I think about you all the time, and miss you very much. When I go visit Grandpa,...
A Love Like This
Dearest Jerry,
I want you to know that you are still the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though “happily ever after” was not in our future, the love that I felt for you was the most intense that I have ever—and will ever—know. You are the standard that all others are held to, and no one is able to fill the hole that has been left in my heart since we had to...
Handcuffs
Dear Dad,
You have been in prison for only a month now and I already miss you so much. It kills me because I still have to wait another ten years until I get to see you again. My birthday is soon and I wish you were here to celebrate my 17th birthday. I know you didn’t mean to do what you did because you were just trying to protect the family, but I just wish you could have told us what was...
I Hope You Loved Me
Dad,
It has been twelve days since you died. And tonight, it really hit me. I cried for an hour straight. I haven’t been in denial, or feeling like you were going to walk around the corner. I knew you were gone. I cried at your funeral, and laughed at the memories. I thought the funeral was perfect, and was a celebration of your life.
But now, now I feel like crap. I miss you, but I feel I don’t...
Thank You
Dear Sidney, You’re my home. Love, Me, age 21
To My Friend
Dear Macia,
You helped and comforted me during a time of great stress and unhappiness. Your words and deeds made my life and the world seem bright and happy again, when all appeared lost and life no longer worth living.
I regret not being any part of your life for the 23 years before your death from cancer. I wanted to provide you with the comfort you provided me (which played no small role in...
At Home
Dear Jedidiah, I miss you. I know it’s a dumb thing to say, but since we stopped talking, there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you. I miss being us. I don’t care if it was ‘us’ in a romantic relationship or ‘us’ being best friends. We both realise that our relationship, no matter what it was, was unhealthy. But I can’t help but...
My Weight Is My Business
Mom,
Stop commenting on every little thing I eat. You’ve made me feel fat, so now I believe I am. I can never feel good about myself. Why don’t you challenge yourself and try to go a week without commenting on what I eat? Would you rather I just die of anorexia? I know if I was a boy you wouldn’t be treating me like this. You know, you’re not really helping me lose weight...
My Giant Cry
Dear Uncle Jim,
When I heard about you having a kidney stone, I didn’t know how to react. The next day, I went to school and thought if you were going to be okay. When I came home, my mom had a sad look on her face. She told me you passed away. I let out a giant cry. I was thinking of you for four months after you died. I couldn’t keep my mind off of you. I just wish I could say...
Forever Friends
Dear John,
Remember that time right before our show (I was a sophomore and you were a senior) and I was walking up to the ticket booth to do something and I was really upset so I just sat down on the stairs and started crying because I was alone? And you walked in and found me and sat with me?
You are one of the dearest friends I have ever known. I don’t care who thought our friendship was...
So Far Down
Sadness,
I wish you would go away. I wish you weren’t a part of me. I don’t want you. I shouldn’t have to hide myself from those I care about and love. I shouldn’t have to hide from the world. I wonder what life would be like without you. I’ve gone so long with you hiding inside of me, I’m not sure I can ever get rid of you. I used to think I was strong because...