Haylie,

You’ve been the most influential person in my entire life and I’ve only known you a little over a year now.

We started on a rocky road, then began our beautiful relationship. In your words, it was a loving relationship. We were swimming in love; it was everywhere we went. Then seven months later, it all crashed and burned because of my sudden bout of jealousy. It’s been four months since we broke up and I’ve never been the same since. I may be living my life, but it will always be missing a piece. I never lost my love for you, not one bit.

So here we are. Two single people, once in love, now just being good friends. I ought to be grateful for the fact that you’ve kept me in your life, but for some reason it’s not enough. Am I going mad or is this overwhelming feel of love and adoration a sign of things to come? I wish I knew what would be coming. I need a sign.

Your loyal ex, age 26

Dear Dad, 

I know that I don’t get to see you. I miss the times that we had together, like playing baseball and you picking me up from school, then eating ice cream on the couch watching TV.  On our birthdays, you always took us somewhere. I miss those days that you spent time with us. I wish I could see you in jail, but can’t until about 26 years when you get out. I miss you very much. 

Trustin, age 10

Dear First Boss,

At a time when no one would employ me because I was shy and inexperienced, thank you for employing me. Even though you didn’t need me in your company and it cost you money, in the form of wages and training. There’s few people who would have helped me by giving me a chance.

Your employee, age 21

Dear Grandpa Ray,       

As we walked the edge of the garden this morning, my Mom reminded me just how special I was to you. She told me the story of how you were given only one month to live, having cancer, and the night my Mom told you she was pregnant, you decided the cancer was not going to win. Nine months later, the day I was born, was a bright sun-filled morning, and my Mom said the moment you held me, you lit up like the sun shining in the window. From that day forward you called me your little ray of sunshine.

As we walk along the gardens edge discussing what and where we would plant things this year, I found my tummy rumbling in anticipation of Mulligan stew. Your Mulligan stew is greatly missed. Mom and I try to re-create it every August, but we have decided that you took a special ingredient with you to the grave. Mom has created a football-sized garden, the neighbors think we are crazy, but we just smile as you did, and carry on tending the soil. We are out there every morning bright and early, just as you used to be.       

Just the other day, we were going through pictures and we both started to cry. Your smile, jokes, and monster hugs are greatly missed. I wish I could have talked with you one last time before you decided to go to heaven to be with Grandma. I was so busy with my life in the city and just could not find the time to get back up to see you. I see things differently today: my time is spent with those whom I love dearly instead of trying to keep up with the Jones. I guess I thought you’d always be sitting on the rocking chair on the deck, sipping your tea, just waiting to tell me about your time at Pearl Harbor. I still remember the last time you held my hand and smiled, the sun’s rays were shining on us. We were dancing at my wedding; your graceful moves around the dance floor had every eye on us. Even at the ripe old age of 93 you could move and sing like Sinatra. You told me, “You will always be my little ray of sunshine, Lindsey Rae.” You were always there for me: when I needed someone to sit with me at age 5 when I was in the hospital, when I was 15 and you took me for my first road test, and at age 25 when you and my Dad walked me down the aisle.               

I wish you were going to be at my graduation ceremony this spring. I am graduating with honors. My son will be there to watch me grab that piece of paper proudly and start the next stage of my life. I had a healthy, beautiful, little boy 21 months ago. I smile as he runs the dirt through his tiny fingers, and think to myself, you are a spitting image of your Great Grandpa Ray. I often wonder if it is you smiling down on us, as the rays from the sun erase the chill felt while in the garden early in the morning. I hope my son will be half the man you were. He loves to sit in the garden and enjoys helping organize the beans, eats tomatoes by the handful, and can’t get enough of the Mulligan stew we try so hard to re-create. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry I was not there for you at the end of your life, to hold your hand and comfort you in your darkest hour. I will always have a special place in my heart for you, and am reminded of what love is every time the sun shines down on me. You are my ray of sunshine, too, Grandpa Ray!   

XOXO,
Your little Lindsey Rae, age 29

Dear boy who stole my heart,

How am I supposed to tell my girlfriend I have fallen for another person? How am I supposed to say that my heart is no longer hers? How am I supposed to tear her into pieces? How I am supposed to let her know that I will no longer be in her arms at night? Tell me please, I don’t know what to do. But I do know that you and I, we are supposed to be here, with each other right now.

TK, age 17

Dear Mom & Dad,

It’s time to start letting go. I am eighteen and I have the opportunity to start experiencing life. I understand that you are worried about all of the typical parent fears like drug use, sleeping around, changing religious views, and changing morals; however, I have been a good kid for eighteen years and I have never acted out drastically like some teens. I have always been honest with you. That isn’t going to change. I just need you to stop holding me so close because it makes me want to go further away and, now that I am legally an adult, I can.

Instead of abusing your involvement in my life (because I’m still living with you until school is over), you should take this opportunity to slowly let go of your overprotective tendencies. Instead of “laying down the law”, try gently helping to guide my decisions in a positive direction while letting me make them by myself. I am devout in being myself, and nothing any of my peers can say will change that.

Life is made up of experiences and until I have some of my own, I will never have truly lived. You need to trust that I love and respect you both and I will never try to disappoint you.

Much love,

T, age 18

Dear John,

Sometimes I wonder what you though of me, besides the obvious. Did you ever think about whether I’d ever get out of the oldest profession? Would you care if I told you I enjoy graphic novels and hate Chex Mix? Did you laugh at me? And then I catch myself, because it doesn’t matter. I also wonder if you would care if you knew how selling my body to you hurt me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I’m sure you know. We all watch SVU.

The truth is I think about you a lot more than you think about me. At this point I’m an anecdote at the most. But I can’t get you out of my head. I’m married now, and you get in the way. Sometimes if my husband touches me the wrong way I start to cry. Some of you were nice enough, downright congenial even. Some of you weren’t.

I hate that I can’t behave normally. I’m skittish and isolative. I can’t think normally. I think like a pervert sometimes. It’s contagious. You and your friends came to me with the parts of yourself you couldn’t show your wives. As a woman, I wish I didn’t know the things I know about men and their desires. I wish I hadn’t become so accustomed to that maniacal, predatory way you looked at me—the way Kevin Spacey looks at the teenager in American Beauty.

I want you to know that your hobby hurts me, and girls like me. I really want to believe that you don’t know how much it hurts, so I’m telling you that it does. Is sex really that important? I served you for three years and I still don’t understand why you need it so badly that you pay for it and further the market that makes us broken. I know I did it willingly but my rage needs to go somewhere so it’s going to you. Just stop it! We act like we’re okay with it but we’re not. Maybe you’re a sex addict. I am, now. No one can go through that and not have a warped sex life. Get help.

Men like you still slow down for me sometimes, no matter what I’m wearing, even with a ring on my finger. It’s like a martini walking down the street following an alcoholic. One followed me down my street the other day. My street that I live on, where my new life is. It was such an invasion. He had this stupid grin on his face. I wanted to scream, “IT’S NOT A GAME!”

So in short, what was on your end just an hour encounter, is haunting me, and I wish you didn’t exist.

And tell your wife I’m sorry. If my husband did what you do, Lord help him. 

-“Eryn”

To those in my life:

I lie.
About everything to everyone.
There is not one person I have encountered in my life that I have not lied to.

But the best part is that you guys believe all of it.
Every. Single. Lie.

It feels nice to know I’m trusted.
But I wonder what will happen when you guys find out.

Sorry I’m not who you think I am.
I don’t really know who I am either
But so far, all signs point to selfish prick. 

Sincerely,
Me, age 16

Dear Ms. Forde,

Thank you for everything that you have done to make my life the way it is now. There were many times when I felt like giving up but you help me keep going. You were there through the good and the bad. Because of the fact that I never really got to say to you thank you I want to say it now….THANK YOU!! You believed in me when nobody else did. Thinking about how today I am a better person because of you makes me smile.

People always questioned things that I did: if I tried hard enough or if I didn’t even want to do the stuff that I had to do. You were the one person in my life that really truly believed that I could do it. As I think about it, I hated that I didn’t always put in my complete effort. I hated that you had to ask more of me because I got lazy a lot. But I loved that the fact that even then you were there for me so that I wouldn’t have to stand alone.

I truly believe that there are no words that I can say that can actually equal what you have done for me. From the day that I stepped in the building of Jesuit High school till the day that I graduated, you tried to be a big part of my success. Even now when I feel like quitting, I don’t because I think about how much effort you put towards me and that makes me not want to fail so that I can come to you with something that shows my success.

T, age 21

Dear MB,

It’s been over six months since you broke my heart in more pieces than I could possibly count. It’s been six months since I lost hope in ever loving again. It’s been six months of thinking about you in the moments in which I wake to start a new day and ache to find sleep in the solemn night. It’s been six months of refusing to date, to open my heart, of trying to convince you that I forgive you and that you should forgive me, too.

I looked at the picture of us we took, kissing on top of the entire city of London and stared at it for over an hour. I couldn’t will myself to cry tears that used to voluntarily spill for you. Instead, I smiled and laughed knowing that although I loved you with every inch of my being, and I still love you and I will always love you, I have finally let you go. All your memories and phantoms, pains and pleasures have been dismissed. I’ll never forget you but I will love again, laugh again, be again. I wish you well, with or without me. 

J, age 21