Dear Grammy, 

There is a song sung by Mackenzie Phillips in a show called “So Weird”. The song is called “The Rock”. I listened to it today and started thinking of you. I grew up with you, living with you and laughing with you. How many times did we laugh? How many times did we cry? It has been almost two years since you died. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and other times I find it hard to remember you. Is that okay? We shared a house with mom for 13 years. Now this house seems so empty without you. There are some things my Grammy, things I never got to tell you.

You challenged me, hurt me sometimes. You also gave me two of the greatest gifts of my life. You gave me my beautiful and strong mother. I would be nothing without her. You also gave me a history and a passion. Did I ever tell you that you are why I want to teach? Why I want to inspire others to have a passion for history? I don’t think I did. Maybe now you can know. I am so sorry. I am sorry I never told you how you held me up sometimes, how you kept me sane. I am sorry I never told you that you were an amazing grammy. We are so lucky all three generations of us who got to know you.
That last week, you told me that you didn’t know why you had to die. I lied and told you I did. Some days I don’t understand. Then I see all of the young people who die, friends of mine and non-friends alike. I bet you are being a great Grammy to them. I feel you, as I write this letter. I guess you know that I am sorry and that I miss you? I really do.

Okay, last thing. Thank you so much for teaching me to be strong and to know how to think for myself. Thank you for showing me that being classy doesn’t mean being a snob. You showed me that it is okay to be angry, and that it is hard to show your feelings. Most of all, you taught me to love with my entire being because that is what you did. You loved us all with a passion that no one can surpass. Thank you and I miss you my Grammy. 

Love, 

J, age 20