Dear Raleigh,

We all miss you, especially Ivan. He’s always had a crush on you, but I think you knew that. I think that’s why you never minded hanging out with someone younger than you, even if Anna and Tabby thought it was lame. Ian cries a lot now, and we do the best we can. He liked you, al ot. Me and Ron would always tease him about it, and joke with you about it, but the truth is, we never minded having you date him. He’s our best friend for a reason, and he always took good care of you. 

Ron won’t admit he misses you, because I think he thinks you’re just out at the movies with your other friends, and you’ll be home soon. Even though it’s crazy, sometimes I think that way, too. It’s too hard for me and him to think about the fact that our little sister is never coming home again. Yeah, yeah, me and you are twins, but I was born first, no matter what you say. Man, I miss joking about that with you. 

We can’t watch Back to the Future anymore; every single time we think of Doc and that time traveling Delorean, we’re hit with grief. What if we could make a time machine, and go back to that evening just five minutes before it happened? We didn’t press charges; the man wasn’t drunk, and the road was covered with ice. He just lost control, went over the curb, and hit you and Anna. She’s fine, though. The doctors think you saved her. I wouldn’t doubt it. 

You’d be here to see your little niece and nephew. They’re Ron and Missy’s kids; yeah, those two are still together. They’re married. And you’re the one who set them up. They have a three year old little boy named Lucas. He’s adorable, and he looks just like Ron did when he was little. Then they have a little one year old girl. Her name is Abigail Raleigh, and she looks just like you. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever be whole again. I met this beautiful girl, her name’s Cathy. I love her a lot, and even though I’m happy with her, things will never be the same. You were my sister, my other half. My best friend since birth. You were always by my side, and you never let me give up. I’m not going to, either. I’m gonna have a happy life, and I’m gonna miss you with ever fiber of my being, but I’ll look forward to seeing you again, Raleigh. I know you’re up there, watching down on us. I hope you can see how much we love and miss you. Keep an eye out for Lucas, though. He’s a trouble maker, just like Ron. 

I love you, sis. 

Nicolai, age 24