Dear Elliot,

I wish I’d had it in me four years ago to tell you exactly how I felt about you. I don’t know if it would have made a difference but if I had maybe I wouldn’t still be thinking about you now.

It’s four years since we first met; for the last two of those we haven’t spoken, but I still think about you nearly everyday. The thought of you and all the what if’s in the back of my mind have ruined all of my relationships, and I don’t blame you for that. I blame myself for not getting over you when I should have. The thing is, because we were never together and nothing ever happened, there was always the what if’s in the back of my mind, and I always wondered what could have happened if only I’d told you how I felt.

I’m writing this to give myself closure. I’m not going to pine after you anymore, because to be perfectly honest I’m fed up of feeling sad and lonely because of you. I’m going to get over you, I’m going to find a nice guy and forget you were ever part of my life. Thank you for not replying to my email I sent in the summer; that told me all I ever needed to know and has given me the push I needed to forget about you.

No more what if’s. We were never meant to be together. I hope you feel the way I did someday and spend years pining over me so you can see how it feels.

The one you let get away, age 21