Dear Gail,

I would like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for making the man I love. I know you didn’t mean to leave this earth so early and leave behind your two babies, but I also know that the experiences he’s had in his life have made him into the man I love and am going to marry in five months. 

I so wish that you and I could have met and known each other, and that I could have gotten your motherly approval. I wish even more that he could have had you in his life and known what it is like to have unconditional motherly love like I have. I know you look down on us from heaven and that you do love him unconditionally, but it’s not the same. 27 years ago today, you passed away, and he doesn’t remember your hugs or kisses. He sees your smile every time he looks in the mirror, as well as your eyes, and I hope some day we will be blessed with a baby that looks like him, just as he looks like you. 

I knew last year when we visited your grave that this year would be harder than the other years combined, at least for me, and I feel like I’m being selfish in grieving for someone I didn’t even know. I grieve for you, but also for him. I don’t see him cry too often, and I don’t think he usually cries when we go visit you, but I always do. Maybe I cry because I think he feels like he can’t. So many people were affected by your passing, some more than others. Your dad, who I love dearly, misses you every day and has done his best to make sure that his grandson knows about his mom’s life and what she was like, as well as trying to instill the values and morals he instilled into you.

I just wish I could have known you. I wish he could have known you. I know you’ll be with us on our wedding day, just as you were at his brothers.

Thank you. For all the things I can say, as well as all the things I can’t. I never knew you, but I love you anyways, through him. 

Love,

Your future daughter in law, age 29