The Things You Would Have Said
Month
Dear Ms. Forde,
Thank you for everything that you have done to make my life the way it is now. There were many times when I felt like giving up but you help me keep going. You were there through the good and the bad. Because of the fact that I never really got to say to you thank you I want to say it now….THANK YOU!! You believed in me when nobody else did. Thinking about how today I am a better person because of you makes me smile.
People always questioned things that I did: if I tried hard enough or if I didn’t even want to do the stuff that I had to do. You were the one person in my life that really truly believed that I could do it. As I think about it, I hated that I didn’t always put in my complete effort. I hated that you had to ask more of me because I got lazy a lot. But I loved that the fact that even then you were there for me so that I wouldn’t have to stand alone.
I truly believe that there are no words that I can say that can actually equal what you have done for me. From the day that I stepped in the building of Jesuit High school till the day that I graduated, you tried to be a big part of my success. Even now when I feel like quitting, I don’t because I think about how much effort you put towards me and that makes me not want to fail so that I can come to you with something that shows my success.
T, age 21
Dear MB,
It’s been over six months since you broke my heart in more pieces than I could possibly count. It’s been six months since I lost hope in ever loving again. It’s been six months of thinking about you in the moments in which I wake to start a new day and ache to find sleep in the solemn night. It’s been six months of refusing to date, to open my heart, of trying to convince you that I forgive you and that you should forgive me, too.
I looked at the picture of us we took, kissing on top of the entire city of London and stared at it for over an hour. I couldn’t will myself to cry tears that used to voluntarily spill for you. Instead, I smiled and laughed knowing that although I loved you with every inch of my being, and I still love you and I will always love you, I have finally let you go. All your memories and phantoms, pains and pleasures have been dismissed. I’ll never forget you but I will love again, laugh again, be again. I wish you well, with or without me.
J, age 21
Grandpa,
I go days without thinking about you, but some days, like today, your memory is embedded in my mind.
I go back to the days before you left us and it’s just not the same. I wish I would have known that was the last time we would go fishing, the last time to drive your truck or the last time I would tell you I loved you.
I was young and said some hateful things, and I blame myself everyday. I wish me and mom would’ve stayed home that day. Maybe you would still be here with us today. I wish I knew what to do and maybe I could’ve saved you. I remember Karen coming to get me and taking me to her house so I wouldn’t see what was going on. She came in and shook her head. I’ve never felt so much pain knowing you weren’t coming back.
I pray God gives me you in my dreams and that rarely happens. Just the other day, though, you were there. I thought I forgot your face but it was you. Nothing changed.
My oldest girl is asking questions and she is asking about you. I can’t help but to cry. I wish you were here to see my beautiful girls. I know you would spoil them just like you did me.
Watch over us and I know one day I’ll see you soon.
I love you.
C, age 20
Dear Laura,
We have been best friends since first grade, and the word “friend” doesn’t come close to covering what you mean to me. You are my other half and we have a connection that is so powerful that it scares me sometimes. However, there is something that you do that is just not okay with me. When you insult my religious practices, it bothers me a lot. I know that my religion requires me to be a lot more active and involved in my church. It gets a little annoying to me sometimes and I might complain about it, but I do not think it is your place, nor do I appreciate you insulting my church or its programs. Please, just be respectful of the education of God and reception of different sacraments. Just because it is different than every other religion doesn’t mean its stupid.
Thank you,
Jamie, age 16
Mother,
I wanted to tell you how much you influenced my life by being the caring and kind, thoughtful person you are. Somewhere in the back of my mind, an image of what you would have done in my situation or what you did do in my situation flavors what I do now. And as my grandchildren and great-grandchildren grow, you are there in their lives as well, though they don’t know you. The good parts of my life, the good things I do, are in large part lessons I learned from you. And though it is not with any deliberate intent that my actions are like yours, I recognize it as it happens or after I’ve done it.
All those times you graced my life and my children’s lives with special gifts or treats or special packages sent from your home have lived on as I’ve passed along those same thoughtful actions to my own children and grandchildren. Sometimes the only excitement for my children’s birthday or for the holidays was from those things you bought and wrapped and sent to us.
You always accepted me regardless what must have been the odd choices I made to live my life. You were then the person I try to be now and I want you to know how much I love you and how often I think of you. I cherish all the times we spent together as adult women, and every time I come upon something you made for me, even 40 years ago that I’ve saved in your old hope chest, I am honored to have it still.
I am lonesome for you and hope one day we will walk together again in the Garden.
With much love,
Your daughter,
Jolene, age 67
Lovely Patrick,
We’re both idiots.
And I love you.
My life just loses colors and flavors.
Without your kisses, I don’t want to get out of bed.
Everybody tells me I should let you go. And I’ve been trying it so hard.
But I realise it’s a mistake.
Now I know you feel it’s my fault, and life goes on.
Everything is much easier without me.
And I am in dispair without you here.
I learned a lot from you and from missing you.
I wanna be happy again. Please, let’s stay together, love.
Time moves fast and I don’t wanna be your past.
Please, I don’t wanna be your past.
With love,
Le Montagne Russe, age 22
Dear Mom,
I think it’s time I say some things I have wanted to say for the past five years. I was a senior in high school, trying to get through school and move on with my life, when you turned everything upside down. You suddenly decided that you no longer loved my father, and left him for an even older man you had been sneaking around with. You lied to me when I asked you.
That was the first and only time I have ever seen my father cry. My father, who never did anything but love you and work so hard to provide for you, was tossed in a ditch for a much worse life. It’s now five years later, and you have married a different man who I cannot stand. I have never told you this. I have never told you how you became a different person to me that day. You are no longer the same person who brushed my hair, or helped me with my homework, or tried to get me to open up to you. You are now a person who I see one day a year for a couple uncomfortable hours, because I don’t know you.
I miss my mom, and every time I talk to you I am reminded that she no longer exists. I feel like my mother has died and has been replaced with this pseudo look alike. I hope that it was worth it, to lose a man and three children who loved you.
From,
your daughter, age 22
Hey Daniel,
Why are you still on my mind? After a whirlwind of meeting you and instantly feeling like we’d known each other for so long, and then walking away to catch my plane and watching you turn around and walk back into your life. Without me by your side. I’m pretty sure I’ve come to the conclusion that you are still on my mind because I loved you. Those three days felt like three years and someday I’ll go back to your city and will run into you on the street and we’ll begin where we left off. I’m sure of it.
Love,
Adam, age 21
Dear Dad,
Why did you not want to be my Dad? Why didn’t you let my sister and I into your life. You have the most amazing daughters and grandchildren now. You really are missing out.
I used to think that it was my fault. Having twins at such a young age, you probably just wanted to go out and have fun. Mum has never said a bad word about you. Yes, I was a child when all of this happened, but I realised for myself that you did not want to be my Dad.
When I was little I would wait for you to come home from work; as a child waiting for something can seem like hours. When you came home, you came in and went upstairs to bed. I used to hear you take your boots off and throw them on the floor. I heard it so often that I knew the sound would mean that you were not coming downstairs, not even to say hello. I’m 39 now and still hate the sound of shoes being taken off and thrown on the floor.
For a few years after you and mum split up, you did not want to see my sister and I. Why? Were you angry at Mum?
After a while you wanted to see us again. We would see you after school, once a week. You would pick us up from school and drive us to McDonalds for tea. You would take us to your flat, rent a video, give us sweets and leave us in front of the TV all evening. You would be elsewhere, making phone calls. We did this for a long time.
After a while you got a house and we would stay with you for the odd weekend. When my sister and I would wake up, we would go downstairs and watch TV as you did not get up until late. Where was my Dad? Yes, you took us away on holidays and even brought us a bike each. But who was my Dad? Where was my Dad?
As we grew older, you had a new family. My sister and I were pushed even further down the list. Of course you should give your family your time, effort, love and commitment. This was hard for my sister and I to watch; we had waited for so long for some love, affection and effort. The reasons why you and Mum broke up were not the fault of my sister and I, so why were we punished for that?
It’s been about 10 years or more since we last spoke. Please be our Dad. The saddest thing is that you know where we both live. You can make the effort, if you want to.
Your daughters, age 39
Dear Shana,
I have heard so much about you, like you loved to rip up stuffed animals. You would have loved my dogs, Maxwell and Rosie. Rosie is full of energy and Maxwell sleeps all day. I wonder what you were like. You were the same breed of my dog Maxwell, llasa apso. I know you were a dog but I wish I could have met you, played with you and cuddled with you. I still love you and I will love you forever. I guess some things you don’t have to meet to love, like you.
Love,
Emily, age 11
Dear Erin,
I want to talk to you so very much. I want to tell you about my husband-to-be. I want to tell you about my new career. I want to talk to you about our new niece or nephew. I want to talk to you about our childhood memories. I hope that when I write you this letter you can read it wherever you are, even if you cannot talk back.
I miss you so very much. I missed you when I graduated high school. I missed you when I graduated college. I missed you when our best friend had her first child. I missed you when I tried on my wedding dress. I hope that if I carry you in my heart, it keeps you from missing me, too.
I love you so very much. I should have said that every day. I should have said it when we fought. I should have said it when you got sick. I should have said it the last time I saw you walk out our front door. I should have said it every day before you died. I hope you can forgive me for not having said it every chance I got.
I want to talk to you. I miss you. I love you.
Laura, age 25
Dear Grandma,
I was only in 3rd grade when you passed away, but I feel I was so close to you, even though I rarely got to visit you. I wish I could have told you I loved you more on the phone, or over letters. You always loved everyone no matter what. You knew what love really was. I wish you were still here. I think about you all the time, and miss you very much. When I go visit Grandpa, it’s very hard knowing that when I go into his room, you won’t be sitting on the bed with Life Savers candies waiting to watch The Wizard of Oz with me. But I know that you are in Heaven waiting for us. And I know you are always with me.
Love,
your loving Granddaughter, age 13
Dearest Jerry,
I want you to know that you are still the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though “happily ever after” was not in our future, the love that I felt for you was the most intense that I have ever–and will ever–know. You are the standard that all others are held to, and no one is able to fill the hole that has been left in my heart since we had to break up. I think of you often, and I wonder if you think of me. I like to think so…and I will continue to think so. Please know that I wish the very best for you, and I hope that the rest of your life is happy. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know a love so perfect, that most people don’t even believe exists. Very few people are fortunate enough to love someone as I have loved you.
Mary, age 46
Dear Dad,
You have been in prison for only a month now and I already miss you so much. It kills me because I still have to wait another ten years until I get to see you again. My birthday is soon and I wish you were here to celebrate my 17th birthday. I know you didn’t mean to do what you did because you were just trying to protect the family, but I just wish you could have told us what was going on instead of hiding it for a year. We could have cut back on expenses to help you pay your debt. Instead, you didn’t pay the government and they are locking you up. This doesn’t seem fair to me.
I will never forget the day when I came home from school and you were being taken away in handcuffs and I was standing there, helpless and crying because I knew I could do nothing. I know you probably won’t read this and I hope you don’t, actually, I just needed someone to talk to. I try to act like nothing has happened to my friends, but it didn’t take them long to realize something was wrong and they have been helping me though this a lot. I just wanted to tell you how much I love and admire you, and I will always be your bunny girl.
With much love,
Mary, age 16
Dad,
It has been twelve days since you died. And tonight, it really hit me. I cried for an hour straight. I haven’t been in denial, or feeling like you were going to walk around the corner. I knew you were gone. I cried at your funeral, and laughed at the memories. I thought the funeral was perfect, and was a celebration of your life.
But now, now I feel like crap. I miss you, but I feel I don’t have a right to. I love you, but I know you aren’t around the hear it. I feel like a fake, but I just cant help how much it hurts to know you aren’t in the world any more.
I read a comment on Facebook that said they couldn’t believe they wouldn’t hear your laugh anymore, and I remembered what your laugh sounded like. I miss it.
I hurt for Ben too; he’s dad-less. He’s 15, he shouldn’t have to deal with this. I cant even imagine what he will feel when it hits him, too, because it will, I’m sure. It hit me. I hope you’re not disappointed in his lack of grief. He’s numb. And I know he feels guilty for not feeling more.
I like to think you’re up there, looking down on us and me, but then I feel like I wouldn’t be a priority to look at anyway. You have your wife and Ben and your sister to worry about, and everybody in between.
I feel sad knowing that I’m never going to be able to talk through and sort out what happened with us. Why I stopped visiting you, or apologize if my behavior was so out of line that you would tell mum you didn’t want me any more. I was 12, and I know you were hurt, and maybe I was just part of the bad feeling between you and mum.
When I grew up, older and more mature, I should have taken steps to re-establish a better new relationship with you. But I think you loved me, and I loved you. I hope you loved me.
I know you were ‘only’ a step-dad, but you were there for the first 12 years of my life and gave me an amazing childhood. I took on your last name, and now that has taken on new meaning. When people say it now, it gives me a warm feeling knowing that’s part of you. A mark I will have forever that showed I knew you.
I miss you. Please look out for Ben, and maybe help tip his luck in the right direction.
I love you always,
G.T.C, age 20
Dear Sidney,
You’re my home.
Love,
Me, age 21
Dear Macia,
You helped and comforted me during a time of great stress and unhappiness. Your words and deeds made my life and the world seem bright and happy again, when all appeared lost and life no longer worth living.
I regret not being any part of your life for the 23 years before your death from cancer. I wanted to provide you with the comfort you provided me (which played no small role in stabilizing me and providing me with he fortitude to turn my life around), but I did not have that opportunity. I deeply regret that.
I have thought of you often over the years, and your memory always makes me smile and recall that hopeful, optimistic Fall in 1982.
Thanks for everything. You were one of the finest, most compassionate human beings I have ever known.
Always,
Tim, age 51
Dear Jedidiah,
I miss you. I know it’s a dumb thing to say, but since we stopped talking, there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you. I miss being us. I don’t care if it was ‘us’ in a romantic relationship or 'us’ being best friends. We both realise that our relationship, no matter what it was, was unhealthy. But I can’t help but think that the relationship that we have now is the unhealthiest of them all.
I remember the first time I met you, that day I came to your house for the barbecue two years ago. I remember sitting on the couch and admiring the way your laugh filled up the whole room. You have always had a love for life that I don’t think I will ever really understand. Even though I didn’t know many people there, I felt at home. Every time I have been over to your house since, it has felt like home. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but meeting you for the first time was different than anyone I have ever met.
After that, we didn’t talk much, but when you asked me to hang out a few months later I didn’t have a single hesitation. Whenever we are together I know that I will have an amazing time, and it will be an adventure. When I am with you I feel safe, I feel at home. You make me smile, laugh and do crazy things. I love it.
I don’t know what is ever going to happen to our relationship, but I hope we can find a balance that is best for us. I really do miss you. I love you forever with all my heart.
Frankly yours,
Ogaley, age 19
Mom,
Stop commenting on every little thing I eat. You’ve made me feel fat, so now I believe I am. I can never feel good about myself. Why don’t you challenge yourself and try to go a week without commenting on what I eat? Would you rather I just die of anorexia? I know if I was a boy you wouldn’t be treating me like this. You know, you’re not really helping me lose weight when you make those mean comments. I just go out, buy a bunch of food at a drive-thru or grocery store and sit in the car and binge. It makes me feel better. Sorry if being a straight-A, ivy-league college-bound, employed teenage girl is not enough for you. I’m sorry I’m not enough. Congratulations. You’ve made me hate myself.
Sincerely,
Your bitter daughter, age 18
Dear Uncle Jim,
When I heard about you having a kidney stone, I didn’t know how to react. The next day, I went to school and thought if you were going to be okay. When I came home, my mom had a sad look on her face. She told me you passed away. I let out a giant cry. I was thinking of you for four months after you died. I couldn’t keep my mind off of you. I just wish I could say goodbye to you. I just wanted to talk to you one more time. I loved the way you said stuff smelled funny, and how we would pick lemons from trees. There is a hole in my heart without you.
Love,
Your great nephew,
John, age 10
Dear John,
Remember that time right before our show (I was a sophomore and you were a senior) and I was walking up to the ticket booth to do something and I was really upset so I just sat down on the stairs and started crying because I was alone? And you walked in and found me and sat with me?
You are one of the dearest friends I have ever known. I don’t care who thought our friendship was weird, or which one of your girlfriends thought I would steal you. I love you. You are my best friend, my greatest confidante. I always wondered why I was never in love with you. Whatever the reason, I love you, and I thank you for being there for me when I was dumped, when I was disappointed, when I was angry or happy or just needing to talk.
I’ll never forget you, and I hope you never forget me.
Sincerely,
Kelsey, age 16
Sadness,
I wish you would go away. I wish you weren’t a part of me. I don’t want you. I shouldn’t have to hide myself from those I care about and love. I shouldn’t have to hide from the world. I wonder what life would be like without you. I’ve gone so long with you hiding inside of me, I’m not sure I can ever get rid of you. I used to think I was strong because I could shove you so far down into the depths of my mind that even I didn’t know you were there. That’s a lie; I always knew you were still there, but I’ve gotten so good at pretending you aren’t.
Unfortunately, you always surface and scare away those I want to be close with. They are just like I am; they don’t know how to deal with you, either, so they leave. I don’t want you to hurt those I care about and love, as you hurt me. I don’t want to feel so down, where I have thoughts of hurting myself to distract from you and the hurt you cause. I hate hurting. I’ve tried so hard to push you out, yet you continue to hide and return as you please.
I want to still have hope that one day I can confront you and you will leave me, taking with you all the hurt you’ve caused me. However, when you have overcome my defenses to keep you hidden, I wonder if one day, I will end you myself. I will end all of it. I hope it doesn’t have to be that way.
Until one of those days,
Secretly hurting, age 20
Dear Mom,
I’m not exactly sure how to address this letter. I’m not exactly sure who you are, or what you mean to me. I don’t even know your name. All I know is you made a stupid decision and brought me into this world, then left. Was I not good enough? I was just a baby. I don’t see what I could have done in order for you to not love me enough to keep me. I was yours: I was your own blood, and that still wasn’t enough.
I wonder if you ever think about me as much as I think about you. Probably not. The decision you made to put me up for adoption has really taken it’s toll on me. I am not able to trust anyone, or love anyone. I walk around like an emotionless being. I have no place in this world. I don’t know where I come from, or who I am. I am confused. I am a mess. I am sad. This could be changed. Why couldn’t you love me? Why couldn’t you be there for me? Why did you abandon me?
Your daughter, age 15
Mom,
Almost six years since you passed. There still is not a single minute that goes by that I don’t think about you. Everyday I see someone or something that reminds me of you. The things I would do to still have you here. It’s a lot harder to accept the fact that you’re gone now than it was six years ago. My naive ten year old mind didn’t know how to accept the fact that you were no longer going to be here. I couldn’t accept the fact that it wasn’t a dream and that you weren’t going to be there when I woke up and walked into the kitchen. A couple months after you passed, I was in the sixth grade. I had a teacher that you and Katie always talked about. I was so excited I got him as a teacher and was so excited to go home and tell you, only to remember that you weren’t going to be there. That was one of the most difficult times.
Last year, Daddy told me that you did not die from a heart attack, but from a drug overdose. I was beyond shocked and heart broken. I remember hearing you and daddy fight and him calling you “high” but I never understood, nor believed it. I was so upset and a part of me hated you. To know that this could have been prevented killed me the most. Why didn’t you get help? What made you do the drugs? It saddens me to think that you weren’t happy with the life you were living and resorted to doing drugs. You won’t be here for my prom, to see me graduate high school and college, for my wedding. Why,ma? I still love you and miss you. I would just love to know why.
You were one of a kind and I’m sure tons of people would second that. Your family and friends always bring you up with a crazy story and I can’t help but to laugh. You were tough, and I know that’s where I get it from. I wish you were here to see Mia and Sal. You would adore them. I know you’re watching down on me Katie and Anthony, it’d just be so much better if you were here. I just want to let you know I love you more than words and I miss you more and more as time goes on. I wish I had some more time with you.
Love always,
Your daughter Leanne, age 16
Grandma,
As a child, I never realized your importance to me. As a teenager, that importance grew. I started making a point to spend days with you. Just sitting at your house, talking about anything and everything. I knew you were lonely; you had no one there with you most of the time. I would pick grapes for you, and help you with your garden. I moved a few times, so our visits happened less and less. I regret that every day.
You fell and got hurt, so they put you in a nursing home. I tried to visit whenever I was in town, but you were getting very forgetful. You were getting weaker by the day, and we knew it would not be too long before you would be gone. They kept giving you blood, but told us they could not do it as frequently as you needed. Every time I came to see you, I would sit in the car and cry my eyes out afterwards. It hurt so bad to see you fading away. I just wanted to reach out and pull you back in.
I was in a crappy relationship, one filled with control. When my dad called me that day in August, he said you would not live through the night. I lived two hours from you, so I looked at my boyfriend and through my tears told him we had to go. But he would not let me go. He said we would leave in the morning. I begged and pleaded, but with no way there, I had no choice but to wait. I tried to beg to you mentally—sounds silly now—but I was pleading for you to hold on until I got there. I needed to be able to say goodbye to you. I needed to know that I had told you I loved you before you died. I barely slept that night, holding onto hope that I would make it.
Morning came, and you were still hanging on. I was desperate to get to you, but Mike would not allow me to go. He had to go to class first. He took the car and left. I sat and quietly and begged for you to hold on. Finally, he got home and we left. As we were leaving town, my phone rang, and I just knew, without even looking, that I was too late. Dad told me you had gone, that Grandma B sat and told you that we all knew you loved us and that we all loved you, and with that you took your last breath. It took my breath to hear that.
I still sit and cry over this six years later. My heart is still tortured and broken because I did not make it to you. Only one good thing came from this happening: I immediately dumped Mike. I let him keep everything and left. I like to think you would be proud of me for that. I found my strength because of you, and whenever I feel like I need an extra dose of strength, I look to both you and my other great grandma. Who knows, someday we may meet again.
I love you Grandma, and I miss you every day. Keep lookin’ out for me; sometimes I need the extra eyes.
Love always,
Lori, age 28
Dear you,
I regret all the times I said “No" to our love.
I’m sorry I told you I never loved you, when the truth is you’re the only one I’ve ever loved.
It’s killing me to see her with you. It’s killing me that all you talk about is her.
That could’ve been me.
I’m so sorry.
Me, age 18
Dad,
Everyone says I support Mom more than I support you. It makes me angry because I try so hard not to choose sides, and the truth is that you both pull me in different directions until I think I’ll break from the tension. I hate you both for the way you’ve made me—emotional, distrustful, perpetually guilty. I hate you both for making demands of me that I could never possibly meet, for making me feel like I had to be the mediator in your abusive marriage, for making me feel like this was all somehow my fault, for making me feel like I was nothing but a regret in your horrible relationship.
But the fact of the matter is that you never pulled me in your direction like Mom did. You never asked me to carry derogatory messages to her. You rarely brought her up in an awful way in front of me. You never expected me to choose a side. And I thank you for that. If I do support you more than Mom, those are the reasons why. Which is why I am so sorry for yelling at you today when she was the one who deserved my anger.
I will never get over the fact that you—and Mom—made my life a living hell, and still do. But I appreciate your attempts to leave me out of your miserable marriage wherever you can. I hope we can have a better relationship someday, when I don’t have to constantly be in the middle of this.
Love,
Your daughter, 22
Dear Little Guy,
It’s been almost eight years since you were put to sleep. You were my beloved pet: a black and white, beautiful, smart, loving pit bull. I remember getting you when you were only six weeks old and holding you on my lap all the time in the Jeep. I remember holding you and telling you it would be okay after we picked you up from getting your little ears clipped, and I held you on my lap all the way from Miami to our home in Key West. I remember one of the times I rollerbladed with you over by Louie’s backyard when I was kinda pregnant, and how you whipped around a corner and took off running and I just held on for dear life. I remember having to leave you and I called you and said, “Mama loves you, Little Guy” into the answering machine for five months. Most of all, I remember you being there to save my life.
The baby that was in my tummy when I had you is now eight years old and I still have her. I miss that I no longer have you. I remember how hard it was to be with that man I loved at the time, and I am so grateful to you for being there with me. I know Spirit brought you to me to help me get through everything. I’ll always be grateful to you for that. I will always love you, and I know you’ll always be in my heart.
Mama still loves you, Little Guy.
Mama, age 42
Dear Michael,
You’re the first guy I ever fell in love with, and I’m afraid I haven’t fallen out of it. Not since that night you first sat with me. Not since you first protected me. Not since we first were angry. Not since we first hurt the other. Not since we hugged, crying apologetically. Not since you inspire more emotion, sincerity, honesty, and openness in me than any other person I’ve ever met. Not since you’re the person I’m most scared to lose. Not even since you fell in love with my best friend, and she with you.
Maybe, if I had confessed over a year ago, things would be different. Maybe I wouldn’t be in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. But maybe, I was meant to never tell you. Maybe this is why I’ll always wonder ‘what if’ with you; to learn that looking back on an 'oh well’ is a hell of a lot easier than reflecting on a 'what if’, so that I never miss another one. I guess the future is going to have to finish up this lesson for me.
I regret hiding the truth from you, and from her. But I don’t regret the friendship. You’ve helped me grow and change, learn and see so much. I love you, Michael, in more ways than one. I want you to be happy, find peace, and express yourself. Never settle for less than you deserve, and never lose who you are. In everything you do, find happiness, find love, and find hope. And know that, no matter what happens, a part of me will always belong to you; I could never forget your friendship. You’ll always have my wish.
With love,
Kayleen, age 17
Dear Dad,
Just say you’re sorry. It’s been 3.5 years since we’ve talked. I am pissed that you haven’t even attempted to contact me. And as much as I don’t want to reconnect with you, there’s a part of me that wants to tell you how happy I am. I want to introduce you the man I love and the life I have created and the successes I have had. Just say you’re sorry.
Your daughter, age 24 years