Dear Papa Otis,

As I began to write this letter and think of you I get tears in my eyes. You have been gone for 40 years of my life, but I still miss you. It was such a blessing to have a grandfather like you. You were such a gentle man and a witness to all about your faith in God. You went to the jail each Sunday morning to pray with and for the prisoners. You were always an encourager.

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Dear Alan,

I have to tell you that I lost something on accident. It was something that you liked. The thing that I lost was your favorite game you like to play on your Nintendo DS. I was at the soccer game when you were looking for it and I forgot to tell you that I lost it. But don’t worry, we’ll find it soon. I bet it is in the box where you put your games or probably like, you already looked there and then I think it’s on the shelf. I know you’re going to get mad but at least we will find it somewhere. If we don’t find it, then you can get mad. But probably my mom or dad already found it laying on the couch or on the bed or shelf. Just remember that you still have your other games that you can play with. But if you want, if we don’t find it, I will save money to buy you a new one in the store. But I have to remember where I put it. I am going to help you find it.

From Ramon, age 11

Dear Jan,

Do you remember me? You were my high school guidance counselor about 30 years ago. I was the too-skinny girl who kept coming back to your office long after I was first called in to see you for some wrongdoing I cannot recall.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring enough to guide me in what was one of the worst times of my life. I think of you sometimes, especially when people ask me how I survived my troubled teenage years. I think, “I don’t know if she knows how she made a difference in my life.” I don’t know if you knew what was happening in my home life or if you were intuitive, but your kindness and empathy made me feel cared for and worthy.

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Dear Kerry and Cynthia,

We have all hit a point in life that changes someone. It’s as if a hormone is released during 6 months before and after one’s twentieth birthday. What is it about all of us that we are rushing into serious relationships? How did our generation get this deeply rooted fear of being alone? Was it too many reruns of Sex in the City or was it watching our parents get divorced and remarried multiple times?

Kerry, you are a strong beautiful woman with the world at your feet. But your desperation for a boyfriend worries me. I understand that the lose of Bret, who could have been your match, hurt you deeply, but a part me of me hoped that you would recover. Keep in mind a saying my mom told me, a guy isn’t worth it unless he is willing to swim through an ocean teaming with sharks just to get you a lemonade. Remember that it is the woman that makes the man; women rock enough on their own.

Cynthia, we are just now starting to see the effects of your decision. I lost a friend because of your decision. You are not all to blame because I decided to help you plan your wedding to Ben. But now you have your marriage there is no need to push away the girls who stood by you. I might have lost one friend, but if you keep yourself secluded from everyone you will lose far more. I still feel that you jumped into your marriage far too quickly. Did you see the trend before I did? Because I have other friends, slightly older than us, who are getting married now as well. Have I missed the memo telling us to get married fast?

I can’t help but feel that I am out of the loop or missing some important part of me because I do not have a strong urge to get married. Stay safe and well with your decisions. But always remember that as women we are able to stand alone. Men are the ones that truly need us no matter how strong our craving for commitment is.

Love you both truly.

What was it about the project made you want to write?

I thought the idea was fascinating. I could write a few more, just because it is a concept that I think everyone has dealt with. Different situations where you could have, would have, but didn’t. The letter that I did write was the most important one for me, though. Still, there are all kinds of episodes from my life where I should have said something, but for whatever reason I didn’t.

How did you feel after writing the letter?

The letter was a verbal presentation of things I say to myself and this person everyday. I wrote to someone who was deceased, but I believe that the dead can still hear us and in some instances we can hear them if we listen. So really, in the letter I wrote things that I say to my sister a lot, but writing it down and letting others read it was something that was very cleansing for me. Something in the dark that Jackie let me bring to light. It was an amazing feeling.

Why do you feel an activity like this is important for people to do?

The written word holds such tremendous power, always. I think it is important for people to let go of things that are kept hidden. To bring something to light is to take away its power to destroy us. Something unspoken can be a big burden for people and this lets us take back control over the situation.

If others are currently thinking about whether or not they should write a letter for the project, what would you tell them?

I would tell them to do it. We all have such rich and fascinating lives and there are times when something happens in your life and you feel like you are all alone with it, but if you could find a letter that spoke to you or that you can relate to, it has the power to make us feel closer to each other; to share our humanities, both good and bad.

Have you been surprised by any of the letters you’ve received?

Absolutely. I can’t believe how creative everyone has been in this process! Each letter I get increasingly makes the book more varied and interesting. I could have never suggested the majority of the topics and issues people have been writing about, so the whole experience has gone beyond my expectations.

Who has written letters to you so far. Are they all people you know?

Not at all. In fact, those close to me have the hardest time writing letters. The project forces people to be completely vulnerable with such intense feelings, and ironically, that’s hard for people to do when they know me. It almost seems easier for strangers to share these feelings with strangers, which is why I have gotten such a great response from people I don’t know. I feel lucky that they are entrusting me with their deepest thoughts.

Why do you think people submit letters to you?

I really think people are dying to be asked this kind of question. Everyone already has these these emotions inside of them, just waiting to be shared and expressed. When people feel like someone else truly wants to listen and hear about those feelings, they all just spill out of the person. They’ve been waiting for it.

What is your dream for this book?

I want the world to read these letters. I want the world to write these letters! At first, it was somewhat about me. I was interested in this concept and I wanted people to believe in me. Now it has completely changed and become solely about these writers who are taking the time to participate and reveal themselves. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do this and I am so humbled by all of it. I can’t imagine having these letters and keeping them to myself. People absolutely need to read about what others are going through; I think people would understand and respect each other much more than they do now.

On September 21st, I will be interviewed by the LA Examiner! Recent interviews include Lev Grossman, an international bestselling author and TIME Magazine’s senior book critic, along with bestselling author Lisa See. Read some of his intereviews now and don’t forget to check back in for my interview in September!

Daddy,

I’m almost 18 and you still grab my hand to walk across the street. I feel like I didn’t get to grow up with you. After you and my mom broke up when I was two, I lost you.

All these old feelings of fear and sadness are coming up again because you’re going away. Even though I hardly see you, it feels so different when you’re on deployment. I wish you didn’t have to go. Six months in Afghanistan is too long. But I know you like to go. You like the thrill of danger and the glamor of being a hero. I don’t want to lose you again. It’s already hard enough saying goodbye after a two-week visit.

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