Hey Pop,

If I would’ve known you would’ve been gone three days later, I wouldn’t have been so mad about the money. I would’ve told you I loved you when I got off the phone. I’m sorry. I knew you had gambling issues, but I know, too, you had the same disorder that I do now after seeing you die in front of me.

I don’t know what mom did that made her do it, but I wish I wouldn’t have gone upstairs when she said told me to. Dad, I’m sorry. I could’ve prevented it from happening. I just wanted you to answer me when I was yelling at you in the basement. They said you could hear me, but I don’t know if you could. I don’t know if I want to know that you could. I’m sorry she shot you, Dad. I’m sorry I couldn’t have helped you. I’m sorry that in the courtroom, I sit on her side…but she’s all I have left with you gone.

You once said to me, “I don’t know if there is a God, but I’m going to do the best I can while I’m here." Dad, for a long time, I thought I knew there wasn’t; but after this, I hope there is. I want to see you again one day.

Sorry I didn’t bring a beer to your grave last time I visited you; it was an impromptu trip.

Dad, I’m sorry I was mad. I love you and I miss you.

Your son,

Dustin, age 23