Dear you,

You know who you are. You’ve been the only one on my mind for the past two and a half years and you know it. Yes, this letter is to you. You see, no matter how hard I try, no matter who I meet, no matter how exhausted I am, thoughts of you keep me up every night. I sleep so much better when you wish me sweet dreams.

It bothers me that you always want to know how much you mean to me and how much I miss you, but it seems that you have a difficult time telling me how you feel. Really, I just want to know you’re not going to disappear. Again. I just want to know that I can look forward to my future know you’ll be in it. But asking about the future just makes you disappear. 

You like to remind me how challenging it is, since you live so far away and we don’t get to see each other often. I keep reminding you I’m willing to make the sacrifice. I’m willing to put forth the effort. I want this. I want YOU. Perhaps you don’t want this as much as I do. Wouldn’t it be fair to tell me? 

You’re going to be home in less than a month. Before you leave again, I’m giving you the opportunity to make this work. Show me you care. Prove to me that you’re serious and you want this. Please. Because if you don’t, it will be my turn to disappear. There will be no further contact. I won’t be just your friend. I’m not asking you to propose, but I’m tired of saying we’re “just friends”. So, get your priorities in line, decide what you want and make a commitment to me, or watch me walk away for good.

Love,
Me, age 20