Dear Birth Mom,

It feels strange to be writing this letter to you. I’ve never had a desire to meet and talk to you face to face, but there are things I wish I could communicate to you. I hope that you aren’t hurt that I haven’t pursued finding you; it’s just something I’ve never felt I had to do. Naturally, I have a fairy-tale picture in my head of what it would be like, but that heart-warming picture is enough for me. My adoptive parents have always told me they would be supportive should I want to seek you out, but a small part of me feels it would be a dishonor to them in some way. I truly do not need the closure – my parents are amazing and I consider them my own flesh and blood. I have never felt like there was something missing in my life.

It’s painful for me to think that you may regret your decision, or feel like you made a mistake by giving me up. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been raised well by parents who love me and have given me the world. I have never been in true need or want. A “rough time” for me growing up was having to do my chores or not getting to stay out later in high school. I met my husband when I was fifteen years old and our love for each other is greater than most experience on this earth. I have a man who will love me until the day I die, provide for me a life beyond my wildest dreams, and be the most incredible father to our children. He is truly my soul mate and my best friend.

Already I have been blessed beyond belief in this life, and although you may not have personally contributed to these blessings, I would have nothing if it weren’t for you. Your hard choice, your heartache, and your loss have given me a life to live. I know how easy it would have been for you to take the easy way out. You might have even had people in your life urging you to do so. That strength that you possessed now lives in me. I consider it my gift back to you – to not waste the life you so painstakingly provided me with. I consider it an honor to make sure that your legacy is one of strength, integrity, and selflessness. I cannot think of one comparison that adequately symbolizes the respect I have for you.

My husband and I have talked about starting our own family soon, and already I feel that intense “mother’s love” towards my future children. To think that you held and carried me in your body for nine months, you felt me kicking and moving inside you, and you experienced the thrill of bringing me into this world, all the while knowing that you weren’t going to take me home with you. I have never understood how adopted children can feel abandoned or unloved by their birth parents. I have never for one second questioned your love for me. In fact, your giving me up was the greatest act of love that anyone has ever shown me, or ever will. My children will know of the decision that you made for their mom and the honor that you deserve because of that decision.

Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for nourishing me to life and then letting me go so that I could live. I know it’s impossible to repay you, or to thank you, or to even express the true feelings I have towards you. Instead I will continue to live my life, the life you’ve given me, with gratitude in my heart, knowing that I am the woman I am today because you had the strength and the selflessness to give up your baby girl. I pray that the Lord blesses you and gives you peace because you truly did the right thing. Your baby girl thanks you.