Dear Lulu,

It has been twelve years since you left us and yet not a day nor an hour goes by that I do not think of you. Your absence is a hole in my soul that never seems to heal even the tiniest bit. If anything, the wound and void grow.

You see, so many wonderful things have happened since you left and I never get to share any of them with you. I know you watch from above, but that’s just not good enough. Always, I want to call you first and share the good news. Or call you first for advice or just to listen to my rants. But no, I cannot. Those opportunities have been taken from me as they have been taken from everyone whose lives you touched so briefly.

Ah, the moments, the phases, the gifts, the battles, the triumphs, and the new lives you have missed in our family.

Your nephew is so big now. So tall, you would not believe. Your niece that you’ve never met has been walking for a month now and I think that she is a gift directly from you and every day they both grow more beautiful.

Other family members have their ups and downs, but they are finding their paths, trudging along without you just as I do. Your favorite nephew became a teenage father a few months ago. I wonder what you would have said about that. Another is following in your footsteps and serving his country.

Your Mother and mine. Well, Sis, this may hurt. She has not been the same since you left. She’s no longer the mother we knew. Gone with you went her laugh, her wit, her strength and her fight. With your absence they became grief, sadness, despair and profound loss. I write this more for her than for myself. But do not take this on your conscience; her faith has served her well in her dark moments.

Lulu, this is supposed to be a letter saying things that were not said in time and I just wanted to take a quiet moment to catch you up on anything you might have missed from God’s vantage point. Who knows, you may have had a hand in all the wonderful things and therefore know them already. But I really just wanted to tell you again how much I love you. How much I miss you. How you were just the most wonderful sister and beautiful person ever and I hope that you felt my love. I hope that you know how very very much you were loved by everyone who ever knew you.

Goodbye yet again my darling sister. I keep you in my heart and only a prayer away.

My Love Forever,

Prissy, age 34