Dear my first love,

From the day I met you, I knew I wanted to be with you. Maybe it was your smile, or the way you slipped your hand into mine and it felt so perfect, or maybe it was possibly your eyes. I will never forget the pain of realizing you live 300 miles away. You were a summer romance turned into a first love. But the thing is, every time I talked to you, you said, “When I see you, I will pick you off the ground and I will tell you I love you.” You never did.

The fact that we broke up still hurts. Actually, it kills me. The thing is, I never wanted to break up. I wanted it to work. But every night, you would tell me how much it killed you to be away from me and how hard it was to be away from me. How it was killing you, and how you didn’t know how much longer you could do it. I hope you know I cried everytime you said that. It made me feel like I wasn’t worth it.

I will never forget that day I came and visited you a few months after we broke up. The day was perfect, just like when we where together. I had your kisses and cuddles and I waited so long for you tell me all the things you wanted to say. But you didn’t say a word. In fact, you let me go so easy. When I went away on that train, the way you just said “See you next time” like it was so simple, destroyed me. For that I will never forgive you.

I am forever left wondering, did he look back? 

I love you, always have always will. M