Dear Vlad, 

It’s me, Dasha. You know that girl that had Sunday school classes with you at that one church with the red carpet? The one that dreamed of you and her walking down sunlit streets, careless and happy, with only a future of me and you seen ahead, as best friends sitting on a rickety old bench swing snuggled, comforting each other with words and phrases. You know, that when you felt sick that one time at the building where we gathered in the basement for church, when you fainted from seeing the blood of that one old man, I prayed. I prayed hard that God would make you well and keep you in good health because I knew things would go bleak without you there. Everyone else might have thought you were weak, but I knew you were strong, strong in that heart of yours, because you never really cared what everyone was thinking. 

Your shyness made me even more fond of you. It drew me in, like the nectar of a flower attracts a bee. Even now, when I think back to what could have happened between us after that one folded up, rumpled note your brother handed me following church one Sunday evening after which he rushed away. Did you know I thought you were the boy with the greatest personality ever? How I would always sneak glances at you from the corner of my eyes when I sat trying to do my writing assignment? 

I will forever continue to regret the fact that I didn’t respond to your lovesick note which struck me and made me abashed. I never though you liked me, too. That’s why I couldn’t get the strength to reply, for your note induced fear, fear of taking a leap and saying, “yes, I do too!” If only I knew you also had those feelings I had for you when we still saw each other almost every day. To think it could have been more than thoughts and dreams. You know, I still find it hard to pass over the thought of you with less than a day-long contemplation. My heart still quickens when I picture your young, pale white face lined with prominent deep brown irises. 

You know I searched for you on Myspace the other day. Did you really move to Portland, Alabama? Why? And left me to sit here all alone? Well, I just wanted to say that you’re special, I adored your aura and presence, and I won’t ever forget the way you made me feel. 

Your crush from way back,
Dasha, age 16