Dear Uncle J,

Today is again the anniversary of your death. I am always prepared to have a blue day, but I can’t always bring myself to have it. Just the usual pain I feel.

If you were here, we’d be closer. I just needed to grow up in order to open my eyes and see how important everyone is. I wish I could tell you about my life and how strong I am now. I wish I could apologize for what happened the Christmas before you left us. I should have stayed with you. I blame myself. I feel that little act could have saved you, but you know what? I have forgiven myself, even though I will never forgive you.

Every year gets harder and harder, even though I feel the same. I think it’s because as I grow older, I realize even more that I won’t get you back even though I already know that.

I will probably never get over my anger toward you, but I will always speak highly of you even though you have not earned it. You lost that.

I wish I could tell you everything about me, but you obviously didn’t want to hear it. I’m not sure what more to say but I will probably be back next year to write to you again.

I love you bunches.

Your niece, age 20