Daddy,

First of all, I love you more than you know. That isn’t to say you haven’t hurt me, because you have. I worry about you, because you have become apathetic and stoic towards me, and I feel it really has strained our relationship, moreso than it already was. In a word, our relationship is gradually becoming filled with dispassion, and that hurts.

I wanted to let you know….I am so proud of myself, even if you never will be. I feel sexy and beautiful, and I feel like I have worth—something that you never inspired me to have. Surely you will get over my being gay; that takes time, and I can wait, because fighting over sexual preferences is just absurd and it has nothing to do with how you should treat me.

All I ever wanted in life, Dad, was to be a person. I wanted to transcend, to be more than I am. I wanted to shine for those who are dear to me. I wanted to be a person who people would look up to and be proud of. I also wanted to be proud of myself. I wanted to create a life for myself filled with civility and compassion, but when I tried, you would tell me that that was uncalled for.

I don’t deserve the treatment you give me. If you want to be part of my life, you’re going to have to accept that I am my own person. I am not you, I am me. I will live how I want to.

If I want to dress in men’s clothes, I will. I am still the wonderful, amazing person I have always wanted to be, that person I now am, under the masculine swank.

If I want to wear my hair short, I will. It only changes my appearance—inside my heart, I am still Katie Rose.

If I want to love women and deny the intimacy of men, I will. I am comfortable with my decision and in love. You have nothing to do with my sex life, nor do you have any place in any sort of romantic relationship I have. Accept that.

Accept that I am gay and move on. But keep in mind, I want you to be happy for me. I want you to talk to me the same as any normal father would…. “How was your date, did you have a good time?” or, “What movie did you see?” or even “Does she love you? You deserve only the best.” And she does love me, and I am doing great!

I really do want you in my life, Daddy, but it’s really hard to talk to you about this. I want to tell you that I forgive you for the past, and start anew. I want you to hug me when I come up to the house to visit. I want you to laugh with me. I want you to love me genuinely and tell me that you are so proud of me. I want to hear “I’m happy for you” like you mean it.

I admire your strength and your determination. Why can’t you admire those traits in me? I am patient and I will wait for you, but please, meet me half way, Dad. I don’t want to lose you. You mean too much to me. Things can change, and I hope to god that they do. I don’t want to have to give you up. But if you continue your rash behavior over such insipid little things, things that make me who I am, things that make me proud to be who I am….well, then, maybe I’ll walk away.

I don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve a second chance, but I am giving it to you, because I love you. I don’t want to be wrong. Prove yourself, Dad. I know you can.

Until then, I am eagerly waiting.

Your daughter, age 24