Dear Jack,

If I could go back to our last night together and tell myself how special what we had was, I would have fought for it.

Back then, we needed our space, but now when I see you and talk to you about the little things in life, I know that despite the fact that we aren’t together, we have still found the same things and come to the same conclusions. We could have been so happy together, we could have helped each other grow. And now we are going to separate colleges to become new people and have a fresh start. But all I want to do is go back in time and be with you.

You say you will always care about me and I know that should be enough. After all, I pushed you away in the youth of our happiness. But I wish we were more. I wish you had fought for me. If I could, I would persuade you to let me back into your life as more than just a friend. You truly are the only person who I feel comfortable around and I miss you. 

I’m not ready to say goodbye, even though you already have. 

Maybe in two years, I won’t remember your smell or your laugh and I can move on. And maybe I’ll find somebody new at college who lives up to you. But I doubt that will happen, because you are my first love and my best friend. 

So goodbye, and good luck,

I still love you,
Lexi, age 18