Dear Pepaw,

Since I can’t say all of this to you face-to-face, this is my last resort.

I’ve always wanted to know what I did wrong to make you not want to call me. Mom and Dad always told me that you had our number. The years after you shoved us out of your life, it never changed. They knew they couldn’t turn off a girl’s love for her grandmother, and that they had no right to tell me to hate you. But even as the years went by and you never picked up the phone, I still chose to have hope in you, and give you the benefit of the doubt. Now here I sit, an almost sixteen year old. My birthday isn’t even on the horizon yet, but it’s staring me in the face anyway, and I can’t help but wonder, “Will this be the year?”, even as I remind myself our phone number has finally been changed.

Since I’m so close to becoming an adult, I’ve been trying to move on and grow up a little. But it’s hard when you don’t have anyone to confide in, and when you want something so much. Mom is too self-absorbed, and Dad acts like it never happened, and none of you exist. It’s his way of coping. But I remember, and I’m here too. I hurt, too. 

However, I’m not going to let you ruin what is rightfully mine. I may be depressed, and probably always will be, but I stand tall anyway. And It’s time to straighten up and say goodbye, once and for all. I still love every single one of you; you, and all of those cousins and relatives around you, were some of my most prized relationships. I grew up with you all on the same street as me, and that’s not the kind of love that just goes away, even if you did hurt me and my parents so much. They may not have the courage to be honest with themselves, but I do, and if I could I’d visit you and try and be your granddaughter, even if you don’t want me to. Nothing has changed except time and distance. 

Love,
Haley, 15