Dear Papa, 

I was 10 years old when you and Mama started fighting and ultimately decided to get a divorce. It’s hard for a 10 year old to watch a broken man try to heal himself. I was scared of you. I watched you break things out of the frustration of having your dream life be ripped from you.

But I’m so sorry I left and was never brave enough to go back. You don’t even know which high school I’m going to. I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to invite you to my graduation. You were a good father. I could fill oceans with all of my “I’m sorry’s” for having left you so bitterly alone.

I just want to let you know that I’m well. I’m doing good in school and I don’t think I’ve changed much. But it’s hard to live with Mama. She’s very different from the woman you fell in love with.

I don’t know if you still think of me, or remember what color my hair is, what my favorite foods are, or if you remember how dark my skin would turn after our vacations in Nevada every year. I remember the little details of you and I hope you remember mine. 

I love taking pictures, like you. I remember when I would say goodnight to you, you would always say “Goodnight my little, princess” or “Goodnight your little, artist” or whatever I was that day. 

When I’ve outgrown my fears, I’ll invite you back into my life. I hope you’re well. Please remember me.

Love your little one,
Clarissa, age 16