Jim,

Still missing you after 10 years!

I know we talked about everything during our time together (20+ years). We laughed, argued, and had so much fun. You told me that you were afraid I would be alone the rest of my life after you left me, and you didn’t want that for me. You said I should have someone to love and take care of. I hate to say it but you were right. I am alone. I used my mother as an excuse for the first 3 years then she left me. No more excuses.

I did date but never found anyone. I thought I did twice but was wrong both times. I have been told I live in the past and I admit I do at times. I have now retired and am trying to fill that void of not working with so many other things. My family thinks I should move up with them (you know me, never going to happen). I need my independence, but I am lonely and I need your help. How do I let go and still hold on at the same time?

You said you don’t want me to be alone but you never told me how to move on. It is so good to know you knew I loved you and I knew you loved me. I wish more people understood how important it is to say things to the people you love before they go! 

I guess I just wish at times you were wrong and I was with someone who appreciates me. Maybe I set my standards too high and compare them to you, which I try hard not to do. 

I again wish you had told me how to move on before you left. You were my love and soul mate. They say you have only one soul mate but I have also heard there is a good possibility you could have two. 

Love you always.
Jackie, age 67