My sweet Paula,

You haven’t seen me since we left college in1972. You may not have thought about me since then, and that’s OK. Actually, I didn’t think about you very often over the years, at least, not until recently. I must confess that I have forgotten many things about you. I don’t remember what your major was or what career plans you had. I don’t remember what color your eyes were.

I do remember the first time I met you. It was in the Spring of ’71. You had just returned from visiting friends in Florida and had a nice tan. You were the loveliest girl I had ever seen. We started doing things together and had some wonderful times. I was so excited about taking you to the Carpenters concert. Do you remember how we would take turns going to church, yours one time, mine the next? Do you remember that I would be waiting for you in the evening when you got back from your restaurant job? I knew that I was very happy being with you. I didn’t know that those brief months would be the brightest and best time of my life, or that I would never experience anything like it again.

Paula, do you remember the page-long message you wrote in my yearbook? You gave me the traditional best wishes and encouragement to be a good person. You said that meeting me and spending time with me was an answer to your prayers. But you also talked about pain you had been going through. You said, “You have no idea what this year has been like for me.” I’m sure you didn’t mean that as an accusation, but I was certainly guilty. I really didn’t know. How could I have been so insensitive to what was happening in your life? The only explanation is that I was just so young, and hadn’t become much of a person yet. I was four years younger than you and wouldn’t have had any wisdom to offer, but I should have listened more. Although I’m saying it thirty-eight years too late, I’m really sorry.

I’ve wondered what your life has been like since you went home to Indianapolis. I hope that you’ve been happy and healthy and that you have found all you dreamed of. I know you have brought a touch of grace to everyone who has crossed your path. And I hope that marriage has brought you all the love you deserve.

As for me, I’ve had many blessings, known some great people, and seen some incredible places. Although I’ve mostly failed, I did try to do the things you encouraged me to do. Right now, though, I’m in the sort of situation you once described. Paula, you have no idea what things are like in my life. Over the past few years I have lost just about all the things I valued, one after another. At the moment it seems things couldn’t get much worse, but it’s almost certain that they will. I wish to God I had a friend like you to talk to. I would dearly love to see you again, but it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Instead I will just take comfort in knowing that there is in this world a heart as kind and beautiful as yours.

Your once and forever friend,

David, age 58