Dear David,

There are so many things I should’ve before letting you go. As you stood there, in front of me, prepared to say goodbye, all I could think about was shouting to the world how much I love you.

I should have said don’t go. Stay.
I should have said hug me. Don’t let me go.
I should have said don’t leave me. Cause I love you.
Why didn’t I? Because it would be selfish. Going away is part of your life. Your happiness is mine, I couldn’t ask you to stay.
A kiss was all I wanted. Not a kiss on the cheek.
I will always love you, you know that.
I should’ve said don’t forget me, instead of “have fun.”

Everyday I wake up, you’re my first thought as well as when I go to sleep. It’s a nightmare that haunts me even when I’m awake.
I wake up every morning with the little strength I have and carry on with the day with the hope in hand that yours was better.

I think about how lucky the people watching you smile right now are.
I think about you.
I knew I’d miss you I just didn’t now I’d miss you like this.

C., age 18