Dear C,

You would have thought I was still head over heels in love with you. You would have thought that I still cannot let a single day go by without crying for what could have been. You might think that I still hate you. You might think that I’d still do whatever it takes to get you back. That whenever I see you waiting for your crush in the hallways of our school building, I’d go curse that girl and feel so bad about myself.

But no. Not anymore.

I’ve always thought that timing was the one single reason why we didn’t work out. I keep on telling everyone that I’ve moved on, or that I’m in the process of moving on. It’s true. I can’t totally get rid of you because of the circumstances involving our block section. I can’t get rid of you, and you can’t get rid of me. So, we better just suck it up.

But the truth is, I miss you. I miss talking to you, I miss having to be the one who makes you laugh, I miss you making me laugh, I just simply miss your presence. What good does it make, having to see you everyday, just meters away from me, but not being able to talk to you like what we used to?

It’s been almost a year since all that. And lately, everything seems going back to normal. We’re hanging out again, talking like normal people without all that awkward stuff exes go through. So here’s the thing. I want this. I want this so bad. But I know in myself that it can never be enough. Every single day we get closer to each other once again just makes me want you more. No matter how many times I tell myself that you’re never gonna get me back, it just fades away the moment we talk. So, I’m just gonna wait here. I’m not assuming anything. Waiting doesn’t mean I’m hurting. 2 years left on our college life and desperate it may seem, I’ll always be here waiting. Waiting for the time when you will go talk to me and tell me that you wanted it all to go back to what it used to be. What you and I used to be before you left. And this time, you’re going to tell me that finally, our timing’s perfect.

Your Hi-C buddy, age 18