My love,

There have been more than one occasion when my family members made racist comments in your presence. Each time, I froze and felt like I was on fire. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid of insulting or angering my family, while both of us were insulted and angered. After the moment passed so many things rushed through my head about what I wish I would have said. “You racist bastards! You’ll never be half the person he is!” “My latino husband has treated me better than all of your boyfriends combined!” That was the anger screaming in my head. What I really wish I would have said is “That is racist, ignorant and offensive” and I wish I would have walked out. But I was weak.

I like to think if it were to happen today I would react differently. I want to be brave and strong for you because you always have been for me. If the roles were reversed, you would never speak to your family again if they insulted me like that. And that is what I will remember. You deserve me to stand up for you and not let their ignorance be ok.
Be patient with me. This awareness of our differences, even after six years, is newer to me than to you. I will do what I can to defend your honor because you deserve it more than most men I know.

I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. But I’m saying it now.

Me, age 24