Dear Mr,

I was once in love with you. It’s been such a long time… I still remember how happy you made me feel. I always looked forward to your classes, even though we didn’t talk much and I never had the chance to get to know you better. I felt instantly attracted to you, the fact that you were at least 17 years older than me didn’t matter at all. I loved you as much as a teenager’s heart can love someone.

It’s crazy how much I still miss you. I know you don’t feel the same way, I know I won’t see you again, but I think at least you deserve to know that somebody was once madly in love with you.

That’s all. Take care.

Always yours,

Once a student, age 18

Dear Granddad,

Whenever I think of you, all I can remember is that awful moment on the hill, on what would be one of the last summers I saw you. I was a petulant, angered teen and just wanted to have my own way all of the time. You were a man in less than perfect health (no one could have known the sudden circumstances of your death) who just wanted to enjoy a life that hadn’t always been pleasant. You told me, despite my repulsive mood, that you would do anything you could for me - cut your own arm off even. I walked away because I’ve never handled emotional situations well.

I probably didn’t even talk to you much for the rest of the holiday. Or the years. Just when we all came together in summer.

I can’t even remember the last words we spoke or even where they happened. It was such a long time from that day to your death hundreds of miles from us.

But I wish I would have told you how much you meant to me too. I love you. I’ve never been the same without you and I wish I would have talked to you more and found out more about your history.

I remember how kinds you were, how funny and loving and I think the world feels the loss of you as much as I do.

Please know I’m sorry and I’d do anything to have you back or change the way I treated you.

Love,
Tessa, age 20

Dear You,

You make me uncomfortable.

I don’t know if you this, I don’t know if you’re aware, or if you can’t tell because you’re uncomfortable too, or if you just haven’t noticed yet, but you make me so incredibly uncomfortable. This is because I’ll never be able to tell you who you are to me. Acquaintances at best, and I love to imagine all the beautiful things that must go through your head, all the beautiful things i’ll never get to know.

I don’t know if I love you, but I do know that I want to be around you all the time. I want to know you, I want to know why you are who you are, and what makes you happy so that I can learn how to make you happy.

I don’t know why I want you to be happy, but I know that it’s my fault for never having the courage to see if I love you, to see if I can help you. It’s my fault for never having enough courage to tell you that I want to explore you more than anything in the world and I’ll never get to.

Love or not love,
Me, age 17

My love,

There have been more than one occasion when my family members made racist comments in your presence. Each time, I froze and felt like I was on fire. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid of insulting or angering my family, while both of us were insulted and angered. After the moment passed so many things rushed through my head about what I wish I would have said. “You racist bastards! You’ll never be half the person he is!” “My latino husband has treated me better than all of your boyfriends combined!” That was the anger screaming in my head. What I really wish I would have said is “That is racist, ignorant and offensive” and I wish I would have walked out. But I was weak.

I like to think if it were to happen today I would react differently. I want to be brave and strong for you because you always have been for me. If the roles were reversed, you would never speak to your family again if they insulted me like that. And that is what I will remember. You deserve me to stand up for you and not let their ignorance be ok.
Be patient with me. This awareness of our differences, even after six years, is newer to me than to you. I will do what I can to defend your honor because you deserve it more than most men I know.

I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. But I’m saying it now.

Me, age 24

E,

No matter what your friends have told you or led you to believe, my love for you is neither a mid-life crisis or an infatuation.

I love you!

It’s been over a thousand days, and I still miss you.

I’ve tried dating other women, but I just can’t get you out of my head and my heart.

If you ever come to realize how much I love you, then the door is open and I’d would be happy to try again.

Otherwise, I foresee myself living the rest of my days alone until they play the old George Jones song titled “He Stopped Loving Her Today” at my wake.

A, age 58

Dear Matt,

I need to consider myself a lucky one…

I have experienced a true love. A soulmate. The kind of love that runs so deep you wonder years later if it has somehow become apart of your blood. Moving thru your body as the very essence of life itself… a love that provides the oxygen you need to live even if it is now no longer present. The slightest memory of a time we shared now brings on a grimace of pain. A shortness of breath and a deep sigh of regret.

I have many regrets. You are my biggest. I thought I was being so clever by not “settling early”… instead I have now lost the biggest love of my life. I never even allowed myself to enjoy it fully. Cut off in the earliest of stages with the best intentions of those who imposed the severing of our hearts. My heart breaks again to remember that last night spent under the stars… full of stars and tears. A love so young yet so deep and true. You were my world and my future. Now almost 10 years later… you are married, have opened a successful restaurant, and I probably never cross your mind.

I need to move on and let you go. Even writing those words brings tears to my eyes and I lose my breath. I tried to erase you but you still haunt me. Your kind eyes. Your gentle spirit. Your undying love in spite of my terrible coldness. God you loved me. How could I have been so foolish to let you go?

I have written you many apology letters. None of which will ever reach your eyes now. However this is not one of those… apologizing to you. This letter is a thank you to you and an apology to me.

Thank you for allowing me to experience a love so great I will never ever forget it. Thank you for being an example of what unrequited love looks like. A role model in so many ways. I am angry at myself for only now coming to this conclusion. I love you dearly, and you will forever have a part of my heart. However… I need to move on. I need to go find love again. A true love like ours used to be.

I can no longer live in the past… the “what could have been”… I am missing out on the present because I am crying over a past that can never be my future. I hope I can now finally look back at your memories with a fondness that no longer clutches my heart and paralyzes my breath. I need this.

I have a wonderful man in my life now, and I need to be able to give him all the love he deserves. I cannot do that with you lurking in the dark corners of my memories. So I thank you, and I allow myself to forgive myself for losing you. It is a permission that I have never granted myself, and now I realize that you wouldn’t want that for me. So I need to go and live and love and grow and laugh and embrace my failures and past. For indeed I have been very lucky to have known and loved such a man as you.

Love,
Bird, age 27

Jasmine,

Man, it has been 5 and half years since you tried to take your life. It changed my life completely and opened my life to a better life with you and our son. Thank you for not dying on me.

It took everything in me to cut you down and revive you. I was horrified for months and months. The image of you hanging in the barn haunted for a long time. I still some nights wake up to that awful image.

I wanted to run away screaming but I didn’t. You opened your eyes two days later and I feel in love with you all over again. I probably won’t be on this Earth if you would of died.

We have been through alot and I know our love will only grow even more. You are a blessing and I would be lost without you. I have something to say to you.

I am sorry that I was such an evil beast and I wounded and broke your heart and soul so much that I drove you to try and commit suicide to escape me… but you succeed a different way. You left me and took our son completely away from me.

That broke me completely and humbled me so much. I wish you could see me now. I wish you could see that I am becoming the person you always knew I was. I miss you and Briar all the time.

I walk this Earth now with so much LOVE and compassion for all. I just can’t get to your heart anymore and it hurts but it heals me more and more each day. THANK YOU for leaving. Thank you for taking care of our son. Thank you for LOVING him more and wanting the best for him.

With that being said. Know that I will ALWAYS LOVE you and you will ALWAYS have a special place in My heart. Our son is like Me but like you also. I hear your name and I smile but I get tears in My eyes. You LOVED ME with ALL of you and yet I couldn’t give you My all. Now I can and you don’t want ME anymore….

I am sorry from the depths of My Soul, Spirit and with ALL My heart, body and mind. I LOVE YOU Jasmine and I LOVE YOU Briar……

I AM sorry. Forgive Me. I Love You and Thank you….

Sincerely,

Gabriel aka PuppyWolf, age 36
Te Amo Para Siempre Amor

Dear C,

You would have thought I was still head over heels in love with you. You would have thought that I still cannot let a single day go by without crying for what could have been. You might think that I still hate you. You might think that I’d still do whatever it takes to get you back. That whenever I see you waiting for your crush in the hallways of our school building, I’d go curse that girl and feel so bad about myself.

But no. Not anymore.

I’ve always thought that timing was the one single reason why we didn’t work out. I keep on telling everyone that I’ve moved on, or that I’m in the process of moving on. It’s true. I can’t totally get rid of you because of the circumstances involving our block section. I can’t get rid of you, and you can’t get rid of me. So, we better just suck it up.

But the truth is, I miss you. I miss talking to you, I miss having to be the one who makes you laugh, I miss you making me laugh, I just simply miss your presence. What good does it make, having to see you everyday, just meters away from me, but not being able to talk to you like what we used to?

It’s been almost a year since all that. And lately, everything seems going back to normal. We’re hanging out again, talking like normal people without all that awkward stuff exes go through. So here’s the thing. I want this. I want this so bad. But I know in myself that it can never be enough. Every single day we get closer to each other once again just makes me want you more. No matter how many times I tell myself that you’re never gonna get me back, it just fades away the moment we talk. So, I’m just gonna wait here. I’m not assuming anything. Waiting doesn’t mean I’m hurting. 2 years left on our college life and desperate it may seem, I’ll always be here waiting. Waiting for the time when you will go talk to me and tell me that you wanted it all to go back to what it used to be. What you and I used to be before you left. And this time, you’re going to tell me that finally, our timing’s perfect.

Your Hi-C buddy, age 18

Dear Emily, 

When we first me you were only 16 and I was 19. I would flirt with you all the time, although I’m not sure if you noticed or not. I knew that it wasn’t ok for us to be together as I was in college and you were still in high school, but I still had feelings for you and would think about you all the time. Then when you came to the same college as me I was incredibly happy, but at the same time, I didn’t want to start a relationship when I was graduating only three months later. So instead of hanging out with you, I allowed you to go your own way during the brief time that we were reunited. Now that you are 20 and I am 23, I wish I would have said something to you sooner, or even that I could have the courage to say something to you now.

I know that we want different things out of life, but I would give all of those things up in order to be with you. You are the most beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexy, and wonderful woman I have ever met, and instead of taking a chance and risking it all, I’ve been to afraid of being rejected. All I have had the last four years are hopes and dreams that somehow we would be brought together, but instead of making that connection happen, I’ve been clinging to those feelings out of a fear of losing that hope forever.

My desire to be with you is now being pitted against my dreams about us being together, and I don’t know if I have the courage to risk my hope for the real thing. I wish that I would have told you everything the moment that you turned 18. Every year for your birthday I planned on confessing and giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers: white daisies. Instead, with each passing birthday I get less and less likely to express my love towards you, silently telling myself that you aren’t interested and will be better off without me; that it could have been beautiful, but we just weren’t meant to be together.

You are the piece missing in my life,
John, age 23

Dear Jackson,

I don’t know if you knew this, but I was in love with you for so long, maybe five years or so. And recently, I have died watching you being enamored in her. I guess it fits; you are the painter.

You showed me the world in ways I hadn’t seen before. I had been a creature of the dark for so long and you showed me that the daylight was as beautiful as anything in the dark. You taught me a lot, even though you won’t believe that.

I had started to hope that you had felt the same for me after all the nights we spent talking, but I guess not. And maybe I was keeping you from something or someone you wanted that would make you happy. 

The rumour mill is dreadful, but I’ve heard about you and her. And I know you feel what I felt for her, so go get her. You deserve each other, because I want you to be happy, and I want her to be happy.

Maybe it’s true, if you love something let it go. And I’m letting you go now, and besides you did keep your promise too. You did let me go, you set me free, now I’m returning the favour.

I love you, but you’re not mine.
Amber, age 16