Dear Kathy,

Well, it has been over ten years since we separated our life that we had together. Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. I am writing you this letter for maybe myself, I suppose. That sounds kind of selfish, but I really don’t mean to be. I have a lot of things I want to say and I know what I want to say, but I am not sure how. I have said them to myself so many times you would think it would be easy.

First of all, I want you to know that I truly hope that you are happy with your life, and will always be. You will always be the mother of my children, and I do wish you happiness.

Our split up was all my fault. You were the most wonderful, supportive, loyal spouse any one could have. And I knew it. I guess I just didn’t know how important that was to me. It all happened so fast. I would like to explain all of it to you, but I am sure you really don’t want or care to hear any of it, so I won’t. But, I do want you to know that I am so sorry. I have been sorry every day for ten plus years. The way I treated you hurts me every day, and will for as long as I live. I don’t think I will ever be happy again. And for all you went through. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry. I cry when I think of what I put you through, for what I did to our kids, and I guess, for myself. I am living, and dying, in the bed I made.

I never wanted to be divorced from you. You were a great partner, and are a wonderful mother. You were too good to me, and probably too good for me.

Please don’t take this letter the wrong way. I do not want it to cause any problems. I am glad Steve is there for you, and I hope he will always bring you happiness. I have always wanted to tell you how sorry I am, but I guess it has taken this long to do it. You will always be the only one that I have ever loved.

I am not asking for forgiveness, I just want to let you know how I really, truly have felt and that I will carry this sadness from my mistake, to my grave.

Jack, age 52