To My Husband’s Birth Mother,

I wanted to write this letter to you to let you know that nearly 43 years ago, you gave birth to a baby boy who has grown up to be a wonderful man. He and I have been together for 10 years. Over those years, I have asked him about you. Part of me really wishes he would search for you. I don’t want you to think he is not interested - I think he is curious. But for whatever reason, he has not been compelled to search for you, and ultimately searching for you has to be his decision and not mine.

When I ask him what he would like to tell you, he always says that he would like you to know what a wonderful life he has had and that he doesn’t have any anger or resentment against you. He really has had a wonderful life. He was adopted by a very loving couple who gave him every opportunity and cared for his emotional and physical needs. His dad passed away a few years ago, but his adoptive mom is still alive and well. She has always encouraged my husband to feel comfortable to look for you if he wanted to. I know she is so grateful to you for what must have been such a difficult decision.

My husband has a marvelous sense of humor. He’s also a big animal lover and has a soft spot for strays. His biggest talent is his musical ability. He plays multiple instruments and has written several songs for me. He’s also very smart and a voracious reader. Above all, he is a decent person who has all kinds of friends and gets along with all kinds of people. One thing I’ve always respected about him is how he really gets to know people for who they are. He isn’t swayed by money or titles.

As I write this, I am seven months pregnant with our first child - a boy. Being pregnant has made me think about you more than I have in the past. I feel so connected to our baby boy even though he hasn’t been born yet, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you all those years ago to give your baby up, not knowing what was going to happen to him. I feel connected to you through this baby. Your blood is running through him, and that’s a powerful thing.

I hope someday my husband will decide to search for you, and I hope you want to be found and get to know us. If I never get a chance to meet you, I want to use this letter to tell you thank you so much. Thank you for being brave enough to give your child a good home. Thank you for giving him a chance in this life. Because you did, I got to meet him. Because I met him, I got to marry him. Because I married him, I get to have his child. I’m so happy I got to marry him. I just adore him. I think you would, too.

Thankfully,

Jennifer, age 33