To my Son’s Addiction,

I am so tired of you. I hate you. You do your best to destroy his life, and mine along with his. I don’t understand you, Addiction. Every time my son gets sober, I rejoice and believe he has finally beat you down for good.

But you sit on the sidelines of my son’s life and taunt him.  You are mocking, insulting, and contemptuous.  You are forever tempting him to leave sobriety and join you on yet another trip into the dark world of being high. 

Every time you win, my son loses everything. 

Every time he finds himself yet again penniless and beaten to within an inch of his life by thugs, or having his car taken from him by police or by a drug pusher, he wonders “How did I get here again?”  

When my son is getting high, I am scared of him.  He is almost violent.  He is a stranger. When my son is getting high, I am scared for him.  I worry each night if I will find him dead in his bed the next day. When you are in control, my son is sneaky and hurtful.  

When you are in control, my son is mean and secretive. When you are in control, my son stays in seclusion, alone in the dark, wasting his life in a drug induced stupor. When you are in control, I miss my son.  

I rejoice when your hold on him is gone.  When you not in control.

My son is in control.  My son is again the loving person I raised.  He is filled with joy and is easy to talk to and easy to be with.  When my son is in control, he is the man I recognize, the man I know.  I am so proud of my sober son.

I pray to God that you will leave him alone.  I implore you, Addiction, please leave my son alone. 

Please, please leave my son alone.

From a Loving Mother, age 54