Dear Lucy,

I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for never writing this while you were in the hospital. You’d been there for months and I knew that the youth group and church had all sent you letters. I figured there would be time to sit down and think about what I wanted to say. The day I actually sat down to write you was when you passed away.

Lucy, thank you. Thank you for making church fun and interesting. Thank you for treating me as an equal regardless of my age. Thank you for treating me with respect. Thank you for honoring my confession about having an eating disorder and assisting me in getting help. I trusted you completely and still do. I know that, wherever you are, you know that there’s a lot of love that’s still being sent your way.

We still Facebook you- you can check. We sent you well wishes on the anniversary of your death and asked you what you thought of heaven. We sent you thank yous and comments about missing you. I will always miss you, Lucy. As a friend and as a pastor. I haven’t been to church since you died. It’s just not the same. I still cry when I think about you, cancer, or any of the songs I listened to on the way to your memorial service.

I jumped in the lake today in a skirt and thought of you. Remember that time we convinced you that the water was warm and you jumped in, skirt and all? I brought that up at the service. Brian told us about the time you forgot Bryce at the rest stop and backed up down the breakdown lane to get him. Bryce reminded us of how you thought the olive garden restaurant was actually a field of olives and that they couldn’t possibly grow up north.

But we all miss your laugh, Lucy. The halls of the church, of Horton Center, and our hearts are empty without it. I love you, Lucy. We all do. And I know I speak on behalf of everyone who knew you when I say it was too soon, too fast, and undeserved.

Shannon, age 17