Dear Girl,

I am sorry. I know I was only seven, and I know people tell me that I wasn’t responsible. But I am sorry for what I did. Every once in a while, I get updates and hear that you are struggling with drugs and are a huge participant in the party scene. It was a simple thing I don’t even know— the books call it sexual abuse. It happened once where I initiated it, and it lasted seconds but I still am angry at myself for letting it happen. I am sorry for what I did. I know people tell me that it’s not my fault since I had been abused—they say hurt people hurt people, and that is true. But it doesn’t excuse what I did. I hear updates about your sister and hear she had a kid, an oops baby. I think of what my brother initiated when we were young and I am sorry. We moved when I was ten because my dad was arrested. I am sorry that I haven’t told you this to you face to face.

I am sorry. I know I was only thirteen, and I know people tell me that I am not responsible. They tell me that I was growing into a young man. I am sorry that I made fun of you the way I did. I am sorry for the harassment that was a daily thing in the seventh grade. I am sorry that, for it to stop, you had to go to the assistant principal. She called me to her office and told me that I was sexual harassing you. I am sorry that I took it that far and I am sorry for the way I thought of you. Women were objects to me at this point and for that I am sorry. I don’t know how your doing and hope that it is well. I am sorry for any negative impact on your life. I am sorry that I haven’t told this to you face to face.

I am sorry. I know I was only eighteen, and I know people tell me that it was not wrong; it was consensual. I am sorry that I used your past to manipulate you into giving me what I wanted. I am sorry that I pushed you to go farther than you wanted to go. I am sorry that I pushed you to go farther than I wanted to go. I am sorry that I was an addict and used you to feed my addiction. I am sorry for the way you were an object to me. I hear that after we broke up, you went off the deep end and became a “sexual deviant”. I am sorry that I contributed to this. I hear that you don’t trust men anymore. You want to manipulate them so you can get what you want because they are dangerous. I am sorry that I was an ass. I am sorry that I haven’t told you this to you face to face.

I am sorry to all the women out there who I have mistreated over the years. I am sorry that it has become to the social norm for women to be sex objects. I am sorry that I contribute to this.

I am sorry and I know that’s not enough.

Guy