Dear Grandma,

We’ve been living without you for 29 months and 5 days and 7 hours and 12 minutes exactly. Okay, just kidding about those hours and minutes, I haven’t gone that crazy yet. But it feels like we all have gone a little crazy without you here. You were kind of the center of our family, and I know you knew it. You were the boss. The head honcho. The demanding one. But surprisingly, you got everyone who was ever around you to listen to you. That’s just the kind of personality you had. 

I know it’s sad, but everyone is saying “had, was, did”…but not me. I still think of you as right here with me. I still try to impress you and I want to make you proud. I know I’d never admit this out loud, but I always knew you were my best friend. Remember when people used to make fun of me and say I acted just like you? I hated that. But now, I wish people still said it. I would be honored to have a personality just like you have! You passed when I was 16, and I know now how much of a selfish teenager I was then. If you were here now, I’d tell you how sorry I was that I ever gave you attitude. I would apologize for every time I rolled my eyes at you when you were just being silly.  

But I know that you are with me all the time, Grandma. I wear your cross every single day. And when I forget it at home, I go all the way back to get it. Just because I know you’ll be with me if I wear it. You’ll see everything I see. Uh, oh come to think of it, sorry for the stuff you’ve had to see! 

You know, sometimes we like to think that you’re just on one of your bus trips again. Trust me, we all miss you a lot. I wish we all could see you get off that bus and come back home. Then we could watch the Golden Girls, like we used to. And you could teach me some more Spanish! Right now, I’m the only Mexican who can’t roll her R’s. 

I hope right now you’re having a lot of fun watching all of us. And I also hope you’re having tons of fun in that huge Macy’s they have in heaven. I’m sure they’re treating you right and giving you a life supply of gift cards.

I love you, and miss you,
Your Pobrecita, age 18