Dear Tommy,

I’ve never really tried talking to you.  You died when I was, what, two or three?  But, I never tried reaching out to you otherwise.  I kind of wish I did earlier.  Sometimes I feel like you’re watching over me, or some heavy presence is around me, and it makes me think of you.  Besides feeling your presence, I think your decisions made in your life have lead to some of mine.  I know you’re probably watching me and wondering what the hell I’m thinking sometimes, but I would be way worse off if it wasn’t for what happened to you.  

I wonder what kind of relationship you and I would have if you were alive.  Would you live in this area of the US, and would you come to all the Christmas parties?  Or would you live down south with Grandma and Grandpa and we’d only see you some summers? Would we be close?  For some reason, I feel like we would.  Or you and Dan would be close.  I wish I knew what kind of relationship we’d have.  

Speaking of Dan…I sort of see a lot of you in him.  I’m not just talking about the obviously physical resemblance, but I’m also referring to the habitual lifestyles, and the fact that he and I have the same age difference as you and my mom had.  It kind of freaks me out.  Besides watching me, I hope you’re watching over him. He really needs guidance, and I feel like he needs it more than I do.

Anyway, that’s all I had to say.  I hope things are going well up there.  I love you.

Christie, age 19