Richard C.,

It’s been 30 years since I did the most stupid and selfish act. I was the other man that took your family away from you. Man? I was no man. I was a 24 year old, immature coward with no self-esteem. When I met your wife, I was smitten by her appearance. Unlike a real man, I disregarded the wedding ring she wore. I disrespected the vows you both shared and the commitment of you adopting her daughter. I never had anyone like that pay attention to me. I was warned by friends and family, but I ignored them. I also ignored the phone calls and your attempts to confront me about this.

I asked her to come with me, to run away, not understanding the long standing ramifications that would follow. Like everyone had predicted, it didn’t last long. But that didn’t matter. The damage was done! I had devastated more lives in one single selfish act than I care to remember. At that moment, I wanted nothing but to say how sorry I was. 

You accepted the devastation, you collected yourself and you moved on to have a wonderful family. I would like to say how glad I am for you, but I am not in a position to comment on your life. My only intention is to say how sorry I am to you, your ex-wife, and your adopted daughter. I wish I didn’t do what I did. You have no idea! I have always thought about someday contacting you to say I am truly sorry, but I think that would make matters worse.

I struggle everyday with the guilt. It never leaves, ever. It’s like background music in my head. I had to learn by example, your example. I have to accept, learn, and move on in a positive direction. If ever there was a way to make this up to you I would, without hesitation. If you ever wished me sorrow for what I had done (and who could blame you), your wish had come true multiple times in my life. This maybe the only time I will have the opportunity to apologize to you. Wiling to accept my fate, I would look you straight in the eyes and say I am so, so sorry. 

I wish you everything that is good in life.
M.E., age 53