To Kenny,

For years we have played this game of limbo, this game of timing being off and this game of hearts being broken, the pieces being used as a path to find our way back to ourselves. This is so hard to write because it feels like that means I am accepting it is true, this game: us. It will never get a chance to be played in the big leagues. No batters are going to line up and no fans will fill the stands, no popcorn will be passed out and nobody will receive that trophy. We won’t receive that trophy.

When we first met I was in love with your best friend, I thought of you as this guy with this beautiful heart that was so accepting and didn’t judge. You didn’t know who I was, but you accepted me. You became someone so important to my growth and so encouraging to that growth. You loved me then, at least you said you did. I wish for nothing more than to have kept all those messages that you sent me. I wish I had listened to you and left him. You have always been so easy to talk to and so easy to love that I notoriously lose myself in all the right ways when you are around. I become brave, I become fearless, and I become these things because you have guided me to become these things. I know I can trust you and I know you will be there to hold my hand and to jump, even if the water is going to be cold.

You have inspired me, the nice girl, to be more than that. To be wild and to have fun and to love like I have never loved before. You helped me find a passion I never thought I would feel. You are leaving soon and I want this letter to be ready before then, I want you to know where I stand before you leave. I want you to know that no matter where that road takes you, where you end up, if you pick a home on that road, a town to settle and find a life I would join you. I would move to that town because you would be there. I think we have always had something amazing, a connection you couldn’t just explain. I love you Kenny, and I have loved you since the first time we talked, since you got me to open up, since you got me to smile. I want amazing things for you, and if that means me, then great. If that doesn’t, that is okay, too.

All My Love,
Ashley, age 22