To CMH,

I miss you. But more important, I have been thinking of what I would have said. I was fortunate enough to tell you the big things at the end before you left - that I loved you, and I got to thank you for being my friend for all these years, and I have no regrets about that. But what I should have said was in the time before we knew you were sick again: that I knew you were being neglected, that if you wanted to move on you should have, that it would have been ok, that how you were treated in your own home was NOT ok.

I should have asked you more about the things YOU liked and wanted - not what you should have done, or what you think they needed or wanted. That your time was limited and we should have all helped you more. That you needed to go to the doctor for your regular check-ups. That you never should have waited that long the first time. That it was time to mend fences and spend time with the people who loved you.

That’s what I would have and should have said. All I can do now is learn those lessons and make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else if I can help it. I love you, I miss you, and I wish you were still here. 

Love,
AMF, age 49