Dear Sarge,

These are the words I never said. These are the words I can’t decide if I regret never saying.

Thank you for all you did for me. When we met, I was a shy little wallflower who’d forgotten what a real friend was. I became so involved in becoming someone I wasn’t in order to placate someone else, I forgot to be who I was. I’d forgotten to just be me and not be afraid I would push people away. I don’t think I ever did show you the true me. Instead, you only met the me trying to be someone who pleased everyone.

You taught me the truth about friendship; that it is about acceptance and mutual caring. You helped give me a sense of what I was missing. You helped me realize I’d lost myself.

Of course, I never told you any of this. I never thanked you, never told you what you or your friendship meant to me. I don’t know if I regret it or not. Part of me wishes I had because maybe I could have held onto our friendship for a little longer. Maybe we wouldn’t have lost touch so quickly. However, I do regret one thing: never letting you get to know the real me.

But I can’t live my life in regret, so I have to let go of it.

I’m a little lost again right now, old wounds rising to the surface. You’re not around to help me this time, but I have someone else now to guide me through it. This time, I think you might like to know, I didn’t make the same mistake. I told him what he’s done for me. I think we’re a little closer for it, too.

So thank you, again, for what you did for me all those years ago. Thank you for reaching out. There are parallels between now and then, but the difference is this time I’m giving back. This time I’m trying to show the real me.

I’m sorry I never showed you the real me–the silly, nerdy, adventurous side I kept hidden. But that’s in the past and I have to move on, regrets or not.

I’ll treasure the memories of our friendship as I move forward and I’ll never forget it. Now I’m saying goodbye to my past and hello to my future.

Thank you for picking me up when I was down, even if you never knew it.

Sincerely,
A Friend, age 23