Amber,

It seems so silly to be writing this now. You have been gone for two and a half years now but I still feel like there’s some unresolved conflicts. The day you were put in the hospital in a coma, we had a big fight. I never got to tell you that I’m sorry and I still love you. We were such good friends but the day of the accident, I lied to you.       

I took your lyre off of your saxophone and I used it because mine broke. You came in that day, mad that someone had stole it and I acted like I fool. I feel so bad that this happened. I felt like it was my fault when you died.

You stayed in a coma for several days before your last brain cell died along with my hope of seeing my best friend again. I went to your visitation and stayed for two hours just looking at you there. I wanted so much for your to wake up and say you were just playing an awful trick on me for lying. Sadly, you never woke up, and I never got to say I was sorry.

The day of your funeral I just sat there, dumbfounded by the fact that it was really you laying in the casket with the pink roses everywhere. I know you’re angel now, Amber, and I know your soul was there that day because I believe I saw you sitting in the front pew at your own funeral.

You saved three lives the day you passed amber and those three people love you very much and are eternally grateful. See you again in Heaven someday, girly.

Love Always,
T.R., age 19

Dear Mother, 

I was only ten when you took your life, and at the time I left like you took part of mine too. I’m old enough to see now that you didn’t intend to hurt me, you just wanted to stop hurting yourself.

I’ve felt almost every emotion possible over the last nine years and I've cried myself to sleep so many nights.

I just wanted to tell you, no matter what you did and no matter how bad I’ve left over the last years- I still love you.

No one else will replace the years you’ve given me.

Courtney, age 19

Dear my first love,

From the day I met you, I knew I wanted to be with you. Maybe it was your smile, or the way you slipped your hand into mine and it felt so perfect, or maybe it was possibly your eyes. I will never forget the pain of realizing you live 300 miles away. You were a summer romance turned into a first love. But the thing is, every time I talked to you, you said, “When I see you, I will pick you off the ground and I will tell you I love you.” You never did.

The fact that we broke up still hurts. Actually, it kills me. The thing is, I never wanted to break up. I wanted it to work. But every night, you would tell me how much it killed you to be away from me and how hard it was to be away from me. How it was killing you, and how you didn’t know how much longer you could do it. I hope you know I cried everytime you said that. It made me feel like I wasn’t worth it.

I will never forget that day I came and visited you a few months after we broke up. The day was perfect, just like when we where together. I had your kisses and cuddles and I waited so long for you tell me all the things you wanted to say. But you didn’t say a word. In fact, you let me go so easy. When I went away on that train, the way you just said “See you next time” like it was so simple, destroyed me. For that I will never forgive you.

I am forever left wondering, did he look back? 

I love you, always have always will. M

Dear Tommy,

I’ve never really tried talking to you.  You died when I was, what, two or three?  But, I never tried reaching out to you otherwise.  I kind of wish I did earlier.  Sometimes I feel like you’re watching over me, or some heavy presence is around me, and it makes me think of you.  Besides feeling your presence, I think your decisions made in your life have lead to some of mine.  I know you’re probably watching me and wondering what the hell I’m thinking sometimes, but I would be way worse off if it wasn’t for what happened to you.  

I wonder what kind of relationship you and I would have if you were alive.  Would you live in this area of the US, and would you come to all the Christmas parties?  Or would you live down south with Grandma and Grandpa and we’d only see you some summers? Would we be close?  For some reason, I feel like we would.  Or you and Dan would be close.  I wish I knew what kind of relationship we’d have.  

Speaking of Dan…I sort of see a lot of you in him.  I’m not just talking about the obviously physical resemblance, but I’m also referring to the habitual lifestyles, and the fact that he and I have the same age difference as you and my mom had.  It kind of freaks me out.  Besides watching me, I hope you’re watching over him. He really needs guidance, and I feel like he needs it more than I do.

Anyway, that’s all I had to say.  I hope things are going well up there.  I love you.

Christie, age 19

Hi Harley, 

How is fifth grade at your new school? Do you like your teacher? We got Dragon Discovery forms the other day, and as I flipped through mine, I saw the notice about Spanish classes.  That made me think of you. 

You were a sepcial person to me, and many others I’m sure.  You helped me branch out in so many ways.  I am proud of you for how you always gave many chances to people, where I would have gone and told on them.  So many times I watched you being treated badly.  I was afraid.  Nothing but “Don’t get in trouble” was going through my mind.  I am left with shame for not sticking up for you.  I could have easily told people to stop pushing you around, or saying mean things to you, but I was worried that I would become the target.  Now I regret not being stronger. 

I loved to help you and you helped me in return.  I remember your great sense of humor and your acceptance of others.  I really appreciated that you chose to be friends with a girl even if it did mean you were teased sometimes.  I wish I could have told you all of this before you left.  And now you’re gone.  I’ll probably never see you again.  I just hope that I conveyed at least some of this message to you before you left. 

I know I was teased about you being a boy, me being a girl, and us being friends. I’m sure you were, too.  I guess, who cares! I don’t regret being friends with you, even through the teasing. 

Thank you for all you did for me, and others.  Gracia por ser mi amigo.  Thank you for being my friend. 

Your friend, 

Lucy, age 10

To my Son’s Addiction,

I am so tired of you. I hate you. You do your best to destroy his life, and mine along with his. I don’t understand you, Addiction. Every time my son gets sober, I rejoice and believe he has finally beat you down for good.

But you sit on the sidelines of my son’s life and taunt him.  You are mocking, insulting, and contemptuous.  You are forever tempting him to leave sobriety and join you on yet another trip into the dark world of being high. 

Every time you win, my son loses everything. 

Every time he finds himself yet again penniless and beaten to within an inch of his life by thugs, or having his car taken from him by police or by a drug pusher, he wonders “How did I get here again?”

Keep reading

Mackenzie,

I know you don’t know me but I’m sure you know my name.  I’m your Dad, James.  I need you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you.  In fact, I think about you ofren.  I love you, although my actions haven’t shown it.  I’m sorry for missing out on so much of your life.  I’ve seen pictures of you and you are so beautiful.  I’ve made so many mistakes in this life of mine.  I’ve taken so much for granted.  I just hope and pray that God lets me look into your eyes again.  I’ve really messed things up; I’m an addict and alcoholic, which means I’m sick.  I’ve made promise after promise that I would change my behaviors and so far they have all been empty.  I’m in treatment right now, trying to get help for my illness and so far, this time, it seems to be helping.  I do still suffer from the pain I’ve caused you and your mother and brothers.  It’s not fair how I’ve treated you.  I want you to know that I haven’t given up on you.  I love you and hope some day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.  I truly am sorry and will understand if you can’t forgive me. I will be praying for you always.

Love,
Dad, age 40

Dear Mommy,

Sometimes when I write these kinds of notes, I wish they got to you wherever you are. You’ve been on my mind lately. There are so many things I was grateful for. I never had much time to tell you I loved you. Or when you gave me things, I never gave enough thanks. Mommy, I miss you, and in this letter I’m going to tell you that I never said “I love you” enough. So, I love you non-stop!

Mommy, I never said thank you for sharing that chocolate ice cream that you bought because mine fell. Thank you for sitting in the back seat of the car when I was lonely. Non-stop thanks. I didn’t give you as many hugs as I should have. Non-stop hugs. I feel like saying one of the most important things of all. I miss you. Non-stop missing. Your spirit is always with me.

Love,

Peanut, age 10