The Things You Would Have Said
Month
Dear Black Cat,
I realize by now that you’re gone from this world, unless your nine lives are longer and more durable than my limited senses have allowed me to understand. It was so long ago. How old was I? Seven? I think about you on a regular basis. Whenever you cross my mind, which is quite often, I try to think about a healthy, frolicking feline chasing a butterfly. I realize now that it is not the case.
Dear Birth Mom,
It feels strange to be writing this letter to you. I’ve never had a desire to meet and talk to you face to face, but there are things I wish I could communicate to you. I hope that you aren’t hurt that I haven’t pursued finding you; it’s just something I’ve never felt I had to do. Naturally, I have a fairy-tale picture in my head of what it would be like, but that heart-warming picture is enough for me. My adoptive parents have always told me they would be supportive should I want to seek you out, but a small part of me feels it would be a dishonor to them in some way. I truly do not need the closure – my parents are amazing and I consider them my own flesh and blood. I have never felt like there was something missing in my life.
Dear K,
Quite frankly, I don’t even know what I want to say to you. You aren’t someone I can talk to any more. Every time I hear your name mentioned or walk past you, there are a million things I want to let you know, but I can’t say any of them. We were best friends and then hooking up once got in the way of that. One afternoon doomed a friendship. You lied to my face. You told me that no matter what happened we would stay friends. I was there for you when your life got hard and all I got in return is a silent treatment.
Dear Dad,
In case you’re wondering, no, I’m not holding a grudge. You probably had your reasons for leaving, whatever they were. My mother said I look just like you but I wouldn’t know because I’ve never even seen a photo. I guess you’re where I got my temper, my arrogance, and my love for liquor. It would’ve been cool to know you as a grown up; you could have shown me how to be a man. Instead the streets and prison did, and now I’m scared to raise kids of my own because I don’t want them to turn out like I have.
Sincerely yours,
The son you never took the time to know, age 28
Mrs. Peterson,
Thanks is too small a word for all that I owe you. I’ve always felt that you deserve the credit for much of my success in later school years. You made learning fun, and realized that I needed extra responsibility to succeed. You stimulated my competitive nature in the best way and gently taught me that it wasn’t a good thing for little girls to leave the grounds of Yamhill Grade School and go into town alone at recess, even if they did have a dime to spend. Nor was it a good thing for a little girl to punch little boys who wouldn’t let her join their softball game, nor to swear at other little girls who took too long in toilet stalls. In other words, you turned me into a civilized, friendly child who could not only learn but learn well. I know now how different my school years might have been had it not been for your patience and teaching expertise. As you were at least middle aged all those years ago, I’m sure you’ve been gone from this earth for many years. But I hope there is a special place in heaven for teachers like you.
Sincerely,
Paula, age 70
Dear Billy,
There are so many things I want to tell you. I was only six months old when you joined the navy in 1941. I was just learning to walk when your ship, the USS HOUSTON went down off Java. As I learned my ABC’s, you were worked and starved to death in a Japanese prison camp on the River Kwai Railroad of Death. You died in 1943. I wasn’t even three years old.
Dear Mr. Driscoll,
You probably don’t remember me, but I was in the Tuesday/Thursday afternoon section of your THL 100: Christianity in Context class in the fall of 2005. I never got the chance to say thank you after I handed you my completed final examination; if I would have known it was the last time I would see you, I would have expressed how grateful I am to have had you as a teacher.